
Every year in October, advocates around the country are busy with activities for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. We are invited to speak on panels, give presentations at schools, and provide information to community members at health fairs and other events. We are asked about services for those who are being abused and how one can avoid getting into a relationship with someone who may be abusive. These are important questions that may help some survivors with safety, but they put the responsibility of solving the problem on those who have the least power to do so in the relationship. In the United States, our approach to dealing with domestic violence has largely been reactive and focused on how survivors should behave after violence has been committed against them by someone they love. For example, survivors are often told to leave their partners, call the police, or obtain a protective order, even though doing these things often actually increases their risk of being killed. Additionally, this one-size-fits-all approach does not take into account the experiences of marginalized communities in dealing with the criminal justice or child welfare systems, or the less prosecutable, but very effective, tactics of power and control such […]