Sunday Mornings with Rania: Alissa Parker’s Story
I know what people think when we first meet and I tell them what I do . . . Crime Stoppers? . . . You work there? followed by a slightly awkward pause in which I can tell they’re thinking What on earth? Why? What does Crime Stoppers even do? I find myself in and awkwardly making my way through those conversations often. And while I’m not overly concerned by what people think and I’m certainly not embarrassed by what I do, there is a certain sense of dread every time I go through this.
But then I met Alissa Parker, mom of Emilie Parker, one of the 20 first graders killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary School mass shooting and my goodness did she put it all into perspective for me.
It was this past Thursday and she was in town for the Crime Stoppers of Houston Gala. We met early in the morning at KRBE where she and I were doing an interview with Roula Christie, Ryan Chase, Producer Eric and the entire team at The Roula and Ryan Show. We met in the lobby. She greeted me with a smile and a type of joy that almost seemed foreign to me. I did my best to compose myself but ultimately burst into tears the second I opened my mouth to greet her. As I apologized, she, almost comforting me, said not to, that it was how most people responded to her at the first encounter.
We spent the entire day together and talked at length about that dreaded day in December of 2012. She shared that she had dropped her daughter off at the bus stop, how Emilie always turned around to wave goodbye from the window but that morning, for the very first time and for whatever reason, did not. About how Alissa got started on her to-do list with the number one item being buying Christmas gifts for her girls (Emilie was the oldest of three). She was at the store when she got the notice about a school shooting.
Racing to Sandy Hook, she shared the impossibilities of getting there, parking there, navigating the firetrucks, reporters, frantic parents, police and caution tape. Not allowed in the school, families waiting to reconnect with their children were placed in a holding room at the fire station. About five and a half hours later, an elected official walked in and, unaware that the families had not received any updates up until that point, shared that their precious sons and daughters had “expired” due to the shooting. That was the word that was used according to Alissa. Expired.
My heart just wanted to burst.
Alissa shared more details about that awful day including how she and Emilie spent that morning together to how Emilie, who loved to do fashion shows, changed outfits many times for her mom as she excitedly got ready for school. She ultimately chose pink everything – a pink bottom and top. Emilie made it a point to draw Alissa’s attention to the flowers on her wall, adamant that her mom see the connections between the various colors. Alissa, not making eye-contact at this point, explained how much she loved and cherished those daily hours with Emilie, how that time was their time before the younger two girls woke up but how now, Emilie’s final words about “connections” were carrying Alissa forward each and every day.
I hung onto every word Alissa said. After all, we pour so much into our children. We love them with all we have. From their little hands that we hold to the little shoelaces we tie, to their little jackets we button up – we love our kids and cherish watching them grow and go through the journey and phases of life. We invest in them, we dream for them, we strive to give them everything we possibly can. We send them to school to color, to read, to write, to sing, to learn, to dance, to be challenged, to socialize… And while they are there, my goodness, their lives should never be at risk, especially children, little, tiny children.
The reality is, there should have never been the tragedy of Emilie Parker. There shouldn’t be mourning moms like Alissa Parker. There shouldn’t have been a mentally ill boy like Adam Lanza that had gone for so long with no help or treatment. Crime Stoppers’ Safe School program recognizes all that and for years has offered a solution. Alissa didn’t give me an awkward look when we met. She didn’t question what we do or why we do it. Rather, as a grieving mom, she thanked us for working on a solution. And we are offering a solution. To date, the Crime Stoppers Safe School Program has reached one million Houston kids and has solved nearly 2,000 school cases and removed almost 300 weapons from schools before they could be used against students. If we have saved just one life (and we know we have saved many) then it is worth its weight in gold.
So ask me my name and what I do . . . I’ll share what it is with deep conviction. I’m the Executive Director of Crime Stoppers of Houston and we are in the business of keeping you and your families and your animals safe. That’s our mission and we carry it proudly.
Posted by on 22 Oct 2017
About the author
Executive Director of Crime Stoppers of Houston