I thought I had seen just about everything when the headline hit me: Sex Robot Brothel Planned for Houston Gets Pushback…. How did we get here as a society? That was my first thought. But I quickly dove into all the incredibly complex issues this topic represents. Sex Robot Brothels… What is this exactly? Is there a market for it? What does the law say? How is anyone for this? What can we do because we all know once the door opens, there is very little turning back.

Global Market

A global market exists for sex robot brothels and sex robots generally. Defined as the use of artificial intelligent robots who can both arouse and satisfy sexual needs, they are gaining in popularity. One can find these brothels across Europe and in Canada.

Given that there is a constant demand for sex coupled with a new world of immediate gratification, the robots are money-makers gaining the attention of business owners who don’t care about their negative effects on our society. KinkySdollsS, an Ontario-based business, currently offers customers the option to rent realistic sex robots in intervals of 30 ($60) or 60 minutes ($100) with a life-sized doll that’s “warm and ready to play.” 

It gets worse. By 2020, 10 US cities are slated to have sex robot brothels lining their city streets with the owner of KinkySdollS choosing Houston as one of the first locations. The new brothel is set to open very soon and offer both on-site and at-home rentals.

The Law

There’s a lot of work that needs to be done.

Locally – the sex robot rental business does not appear to violate any currently enforceable laws in Texas. Beyond Texas, there are currently no regulations on sex robots in the United States.

Nationally – federal law contains vague restrictions on interstate commerce in indecent material, and furthermore defines “indecent” as something that exceed subjective local standards. Houston friends – this begs the question – what are our local standards? Why was Houston chosen as one of the launch cities for the United States? This has me deeply concerned and frustrated by what it says for and about our city’s culture.

What about buying or selling sex toys? Let’s start with this: The Supreme Court protects the private possession of obscene pornography but not the act of receiving it. That said, the Supreme Court has not ruled on whether there is a right to buy sex toys.

Locally, a ban on selling these items existed in Texas until 2008, when the 5th US Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the Texas law which had previously made it illegal to sell or promote obscene devices (sex toys). Their reasoning? It violated the right to privacy guaranteed by the 14th Amendment.

While the Law Plays Catch-Up, What about Morality and Regulations?

While it wouldn’t be where I’d start, the regulations right now are focused primarily on consumer safety and public health. It appears the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) enforces standards for some parts that may go into robots generally but has no apparent rules for sexbots beyond standards related to their parts like batteries, and the artificial intelligence system itself.

For me, the bigger issues stem around the morality of it all. Specifically:

• What about regulations on the age and appearance of these dolls? What age do these dolls have to appear? Can child-like dolls exist? This last June, House lawmakers unanimously passed the CREEPER Act by Rep. Dan Donovan, R-N.Y., which sought to ban importation and interstate commerce involving “any child sex doll.” The Senate has yet to act on the House Bill. Donovan said in a statement that his bill would “help better protect innocent children from predators” and urged the Senate “to follow the House’s lead and swiftly pass this legislation that would benefit our communities.”
• What about regulations pertaining to what can be done to the robots? Does anything go once you have your rental? Anything at all? Think about this; it’s a very important question.
• What about the robot’s responses? You may think this is a strange question but it’s not. Think this through with me. If this is a business-driven model and consumers (buyers/renters) want dolls to cry or seem fearful, why wouldn’t sellers program their dolls accordingly? And what effects will this have on a user in everyday society? This is a huge issue for those concerned with the ramifications of these sexbots.
• What about the impact of the use of these dolls on the buyer/renter? The repeated use and method of use by the buyer of the sex robot can very easily become habits that spill over into the real world and negatively impact the users understanding of healthy sexuality while increasing the demand for the prostitution and sexual exploitation of women and children.
• Can a user eventually marry their bot? Another odd question, I know, but who knew we would one day be discussing sex robot brothels?

Some People are in Favor of These Sexbots 

First, we must understand all the arguments. There are many (The Foundation for Responsible Robotics in Netherlands, for example) who are trying to show benefits for people with disabilities, medical issues or the elderly. Others feel the use of robots can curb the abuse of humans. Additionally, The Food and Drug Administration may regulate sexbots as medical devices if sellers claimed the bots “treat, prevent, cure, mitigate or diagnose a disease or condition,” such as sexual dysfunction.

What Can We Do?

With all this in mind, this is an issue we must address. We have legislators trying to shape this issue nationally, statewide and locally. This issue must be brought to their attention. And for good reason. It’s now coming to Houston and will soon be filled with users who rent for physical pleasure but will ultimately have their minds, desires and emotions impacted by what goes on behind those doors. I don’t want this for Houston. I don’t want this for our community. Do you?

There’s no other word to describe what happened other than horrifying. She woke up to him standing over her in her bedroom, naked. It was roughly 2:45 a.m. on Aug. 30 and her parents were sleeping just down the hallway. She’s only 13 years old.

Terrified, she began screaming, sending Johnathan Ward, 21, down the hall and out the door of the family’s Fontana, Calif. home.

How Did They Get There?

Reports later confirmed that Ward, who lived just a few miles away from the child, had been stalking her on Instagram. He spent time following her posts, her activities and affiliation with a local dance studio and pieced her life together – including where she lived. On this fateful night, surveillance footage showed him outside the family home, looking straight at the cameras where he put his finger to his mouth and did a “shhh” motion. He then opened an unlocked door and gained entry, going straight to the young girls’ room.

This wasn’t his first offense. Ward had a history of following his prey online and using their own posts to piece their lives and locations together.

The Easiest of Targets

“There is never a scenario in which a victim of a crime is guilty of doing anything wrong.” President and CEO at PPI Security, Tony Leal, shared these words with us last week at a Crime Stoppers of Houston’s women’s luncheon. He went to say on that even with that in mind, we must do everything we can to take proactive measures to keep ourselves from becoming victims of crime. Leal was a Texas Ranger for over 26 years, retiring as the chief. And I couldn’t have agreed more with his words.

Every single day, the team at Crime Stoppers goes from school to school talking to children about the reality and the doors they open through their social media postings. What happened to this 13-year-old in Calif. should never ever have happened. And yet, right now, she is one of hundreds of thousands of tweens/teens being followed and stalked online.

The Reality and a Response

It’s time for a shift in our conversation with our children:

• We get it. We know that children are going to be online.
• A Reality Check. With that in mind, we’ll share stories like this one with them in an age-appropriate manner (keep in mind, there are details from this story I left out of this post)
• Non-negotiables. Understanding the dangers, remind kids that they must turn location services off when snapping photos and sharing as well as when using all their social media platforms, always. I have gone as far as to say if the platform requires your location services to be on, then it’s not a platform we’re allowed to use.
• The Art of Taking Photos. Beyond the lighting and capturing your best side, let’s talk about the art of taking photos.

-Never take a photo outside your home where a home number or identifying factor is visible.
-If you’re inside your home, try to not picture interiors of doors or windows which show a potential stalker/predator exactly where the locks are or what kind they are inside the home (and ultimately, how to get around them).
-If taking a photo at school, try not to share what school you’re in.
-Same with work or while you’re with your dance team, sports team, etc. I know that’s hard but try.

• Where you can’t help it. There are scenarios where you can’t help but post and expose a part of your real life – your football team or cheerleading team is winning games or awards and you want to share it. It’s great! But think of this: while kids may not initially accept a request from a stranger, they will absolutely accept a request from a stranger who seems connected to others the child knows. Predators know this too. It follows then that they will absolutely invest the time studying and connecting with their prey’s teammates and even family members to gain access to the target. They understand the online behaviors of children, maybe even more than a child’s parents. How does this apply exactly? You post a photo of your team and what it’s affiliated with. A predator will spend the time connecting with all the other members to breakdown your fear of ultimately connecting with you, their target (just like in the Calif. case). In this case, we urge team coaches to have a special meeting about safe posting – reminding the players that they have become local celebrities and will draw the attention of many. It’s okay to post but maybe the team can pledge to post safely, accepting only requests from people they really do know.
• Think of Celebrity and Stardom. I’m now urging tweens and teens to think of themselves as little celebrities and to emulate the posting habits of the celebrities they love. Yes, I said that…. Think about it this way, celebrities NEVER share where they live or where their home offices are or any information that gives you any inroads to reach them. Their location services are off and they do everything possible to make it impossible for you to find them. Sure, they share post after post and story after story but look at how they post. We’re seeing their meals, parties, concerts and movie sets, makeup application, workouts, etc., but there isn’t one post that opens the door to their private worlds. Even thinking of reality stars who do invite you into their homes, they have only done so after a team of attorneys have used their “celebrity” status to legally remove their names and home addresses from all public records. Additionally, they live in ultra-private neighborhoods and still hire teams of private security to surround their homes and follows them when they are out and about. Sure, they accept requests from anyone and everyone. These people are brands that must build their brand equity. While most of us cannot add as many layers of security and privacy as celebrities, we can learn from their posts and what and how they do and don’t post.

We live in a new world. As my friend and colleague says, when we post on the internet, the “WWW” stands for the “world wide web” – we’re opening up our lives to the world and inviting the world in as well. Social media follows the same way. Our children are smart enough to really start understanding this as long as we address the topic honestly and fairly. For their sake and ours, it’s a topic we need to do repeatedly.

Predators will hate you for it.

“I want to blow up the school” are the seven words that will cost 17-year-old Braeden McDaniel a lifetime of consequences. Earlier this week, these seven words got McDaniel handcuffed, escorted out of his school and taken to Harris County jail.

Seven words now mean a lifetime of change.

In only a few short days since his arrest, the consequences of his actions keep coming – on Thursday morning, a judge ruled that McDaniel is now required to find an alternative school and wear an ankle monitor. After being released from jail, he told various news outlets:

“It was just me joking around”

“I said it in a sarcastic way and then someone else heard it and they thought it was a threat.”

“I screwed up.”

“Don’t ever make threats like that. It’s not a good thing.”

Unfortunately, school threats are happening way too often. It honestly seems like a daily occurrence nowadays and the thought of that makes me cringe. Parents, let’s think about the fact that kids want to joke around. Kids also try to deal with deeply emotional, frightening and overwhelming issues by making jokes. In this case, faced with a school community that’s on edge, these types of jokes will be taken seriously by all – including your peers and law enforcement. As a community we must do better about educating our youth about the risks and consequences of making or talking about making a targeted threat against a school. It is not something to joke around with. It’s just not worth the consequences.

The Consequences (depends on the level of the threat)

Add to it that the threat – whether it’s directly said out loud, over social media, via text message, or through email – is a federal crime punishable with up to five years in federal prison. The person making the threat can face state or local charges. Let’s talk to our kids about the consequences including:

• Forever being labeled as a felon
• The risk of being federally investigated
• If charged, it could mean probation or time in state prison
• The immediate requirement to find an alternative school
• The reality of having to wear a judge ordered ankle monitor

The Impact of a Fake Threat

• Because each threat is taken seriously, EVERY threat is investigated and fully analyzed to determine its credibility.
• Threats disrupt school – cause anxiety, fear, emotional distress to students, school staff and parents, places schools on “lockdowns”, etc.
• Waste limited law enforcement resources – having to respond to fake threats diverts officers and uses up taxpayer money
• Hoax threats could even put first responders in unnecessary danger

For Students:

• Don’t ever make, post or send any fake threats… period. It is not worth it! No one cares that it’s a joke.
• If you are a target of a threat, alert your school immediately.
• Familiarize yourself with how to report anonymously to Crime Stoppers of Houston, should you want to remain anonymous in your reporting (Note: All 3 ways to report are 100 percent anonymous.):

1. Call the 24/7 Tip Line at 713-222-TIPS(8477)
2. Download the Crime Stoppers of Houston mobile app on your phone and submit tips directly via the app
3. Visit crime-stoppers.org to submit tips online

• Once you’ve reported the threat, do not share or forward the threat until law enforcement has had a chance to investigate – this can spread misinformation and cause panic.
• Be proactive about keeping your school safe – talk to your peers about the consequences of making fake school threats and ensure they too know how to use the Crime Stoppers Tip Line.
• Take it a step further and invite Crime Stoppers to present to your student body about how to stay safe.

For Parents:

• If you are a parent or family member, know that some young people post these threats online as a cry for attention or as a way to get revenge or exert control.
• Talk to your child about the proper outlet for their stress or other emotions.
• Explain the importance of responsible social media use.
• Talk to them about the consequences of posting fake threats.
• If you sense that your child has changed, is struggling or writing about/talking about a plan against their school – take it seriously and find your child help immediately. If your home has guns in it, make sure there is absolutely no way he or she can access them.

We are living in a new world when it comes to school safety- one in which students, teachers, parents and law enforcement are on edge. Don’t allow your child to be an instigator in such a complex problem. For their sake, your sake and all our sakes, it’s just not worth it.

The murder of a young woman has the nation in an uproar. How is it possible that Mollie Tibbetts, the 20-year-old University of Iowa sophomore’s simple decision to go for an evening run in the farming town of Brooklyn, would senselessly lead to her death? As the case unfolds, the details are overwhelming – leaving many of us sad and deeply angry.

Before we dive into it, it’s important to get one thing straight – Mollie Tibbetts didn’t make a wrong decision that fateful night of July 18. She did nothing wrong by choosing to go for a run. Rather, my goal is to talk through Mollie’s case and focus on helpful tips for teens, young adults and adults everywhere. According to police reports, Mollie was running alone in a rural area. She was isolated that evening. The suspect noticed Mollie, got out of his car and began running alongside her. Frightened for her life, she threatened to call the police. Eventually, Mollie was found dead in a corn field, Cristhian Rivera leading police to her body after his arrest. In a chilling statement by authorities, the investigator states:

I can’t really speak about the motive. I can just tell you that he followed her and seemed to be drawn to her on that particular day. For whatever reason he chose to abduct her.

A life so carefully loved and poured into by her parents and family, completely taken and cut short because a complete stranger, for no known reason, was randomly “drawn to her” that day…  Heartbreaking. So now we are left with a tragedy that must be used to help others. Here are a few points for what to do in the wake of this loss:

Talk.

Talk about this case with anyone in your life who walks/jogs alone. Talk about what happened to Mollie and get feedback. Ask the questions, especially of your teens and college students – where do you like to go for a walk or run? What time of day do you tend to go? Do you always go around the same time; do you always take the same route? Do you feel so safe in your own neighborhood that any potential threat seems unwarranted?

One thing is for sure, this case is a reminder that bad people are sprinkled everywhere and while they are not the majority, it only takes crossing paths once to ruin or even end a life. While we don’t live in fear of this, we must simply be aware and make decisions accordingly.

Give Tips.

Phone: Always have a charged phone when you go out. And even though you have that phone, don’t be so distracted that you are not paying attention to your surroundings. This means no music, no calls, no texting, no Netflix. I know it seems extreme, but studies show that walking while using a cell phone directly contributes to pedestrian accidents from tripping to not noticing cars to making yourself a target for a predator who realizes you are not paying attention. According to Governing.com, pedestrian injuries due to cell phone use are up 35 percent in 2012 when compared to 2010.

Beyond cell phones, here are more precautions:

• Run with a friend or a group. There are many reasons we say this. One there is safety in numbers but also, if you fall and get severely injured, you want someone with you as opposed to being alone.
• If you must run alone, run during peak hours and in populated areas
• Let someone know when you are going for a run
• Don’t be a predictable target / change your route and run times
• Don’t post your exact run on social media or that you’re going for a run before you leave the house
• Don’t carry mace, it could be used against you
• Wear ID in case of any accidents
• Wear reflective gear
• Don’t worry about being polite to someone who approaches you and makes you uncomfortable. This is true all the time. Trust your instincts.

There are no words to express our sorrow over the loss of this wonderful young woman who still had her whole life ahead of her. Let’s make sure we take every step to ensure we’re protected the next time we go for a job or run. Certainly, these simple steps would never be ones you regret making.

It’s a scenario I see often. A young girl or boy posts extremely provocative photos on Instagram or Snapchat. They are kids in loving homes, with very involved parents. Still, the same questions come to mind: Do these parents follow their children online, on each platform they are using? Or, do the parents mistakenly think they have a handle on their child’s life and social media engagement but in reality, are so off the mark? Or, even worse, do they know but not care? Hopefully it’s not the latter; chances are it’s one of the former.

With this happening over and over again (literally) this post is for all of us. My goal this week is to offer insights, tips and tactics for parents in the social media age, an age where, let’s face it, we have been routinely outsmarted by teens who are way savvier and way more determined to be online. Let’s dive in…

Stats:

According to a recent Pew Study, 95 percent of teens have access to a smartphone and 45 percent say they are online “almost constantly.” The study, conducted March 7-April 10, 2018 polled teens aged 13-17 and confirmed that YouTube (85 percent), Instagram (72 percent) and Snapchat (69 percent) are the most popular online platforms among teens. While race and socioeconomic factors showed limited differences, gender played a larger role with girls more likely than boys to use Snapchat most often (42 percent vs. 29 percent) and boy more inclined than girls to identify YouTube as their platform of choice (39 percent vs. 25 percent).

Point is, a majority of all kids in all places are on social media, in one way or another.

10 Reasons Why Your Child is Desperate to be on Social:

1. It’s the new way of life
2. To not be on social media means a life of boredom
3. To not be on social media would make their friends upset
4. Social media users have a streak, to walk away would cause a huge lapse in their following and engagement
5. Social media is where kids “hang out”
6. It’s really the only way to talk to friends. Very few call and texting is limited
7. Social media use establishes a teen’s personality, giving them an “identity” and “marking” their place in their school community and online world
8. It determines (in their minds) their social value (level of popularity)
9. There is a fear of missing out
10. It’s the way they get news (social and political), read about current events and stay plugged into the world

Parents and the Strategy to Navigate the Social Media Usage of the Teens:

We’ve just listed the overwhelming percentages of teens online. We’ve also gone through 10 reasons they insist on being online (mind you, I could have added 10 more). While I’m not saying their reasons are sound, they are their reasons whether we like it or not. So, for parents wanting to curb social media usage, what can be done? Recently, I’ve talked to many parents taking aggressive routes, especially before school starts, to limit or even keep their children from engaging online. Here are two common approaches and a reveal of the flawed thinking:

1. Parents are disabling or forcing children to remove their social media platforms from their phones and then “checking” those phones nightly to make sure the platforms are not back on. Beware: (1) While kids may delete the platform from their phone, they are not deactivating their accounts. This means that the moment you walk away, with one simple “install” click, those platforms are right back on their phones; they can delete and reinstall 100 times and you would never know. Alternatively, they can check their accounts from the nearest web browser. Either way, your approach has meant nothing and they have not missed a beat. (2) If you think you’ve nipped their online usage in the bud with this simple move, chances are you are no longer monitoring their online usage (after all, you’ve taken care of that, right?). In reality, you’ve just given your child total online freedom as they know you’re no longer watching them! (3) Don’t forget about “hidden apps”. Many kids are moving and have been moving conversations away from social media platforms to hidden chats located behind hidden apps on their phones.

2. Parents are following their teens. This is a must and we applaud parents who follow their teens. That said: Beware – Kids are creating fake accounts left and right to throw their parents off their tracks. For example: Instagram’s lure has been in the ability for its users to post staged photos and create highly orchestrated depictions of their lives. A year or so ago, teens rebelled (of course) by creating FINSTAGRAM accounts (fake Instagram), accounts which showed their real lives, their true stories, were not staged and shared those with a select few. Today, those “Finsta” accounts are now becoming the “real” accounts for teens and they are the accounts parents do not know exist. According to a YouTube video on how to create a successful Finsta account, a Finsta account is defined as “essentially a fake second Instagram account meant for smaller, private audiences. It’s popular among teens, especially teen girls, and features an unfiltered experience into a user’s life.”

The Best Approach:

• Talk, talk, talk to your kids. Talk honestly about your concerns, what they can post, what they absolutely shouldn’t post and why. Talk honestly about consequences and risks.
• Be aware of all the newest apps and technologies. This takes a lot of work but organizations like Crime Stoppers can help you. We have a Parents Guide to Social Media class that’s free and hugely informative. It can help you get a jump start on what your kids are doing online. (See Crime Stoppers’ website for more resources.)
• And when all is said and done – one-up them. Yes, I just said that. For the kids who think they’ve outsmarted you by deleting apps or hiding correspondences, here is the insight of all insights: Every evening you can truly check your child’s phone by doing the following on their iPhone, go into Settings à Battery à Battery Percentage and there, in plain sight before you, you can select “Last 24 Hours” and see exactly what your child has been doing online and for how long. Most teens don’t know their battery’s tracks them this way; if they do, they are positive you have no idea… How great is it that you now know?

In the end, parents, we are in a tough spot as our kids wake up each day and essentially play with fire. Our greatest hope is that they don’t get burned and we stay sane through the process. It’s not easy but at least we’re all in this together. Call Crime Stoppers anytime for more information on these or other tips and tricks necessary to keep all kids safe at all times while online.