As I’m looking forward to enjoying spring break with my family, I remember that this time of year is when parents often find themselves worried about teens about to head out on a spring break trip with friends. Before your teen leaves, it’s important to talk with them about their safety plan, whether they’re traveling domestically and internationally.

Here are some issues to discuss with them:

• Travel in a group. Everybody in that group must be known to you and your family.
• Ask: Is anyone meeting the group at the destination? In my line of work, “friends-of-friends” is synonymous with “terrible trouble.” When your teen/young adult is far from you – in another state or country – it’s not time to leave them in the hands of someone unknown.
• Gather as much information as possible. Where are they staying? Do they know how to navigate the currency? Do they know where the local U.S. Embassy is located? Do they know whom to call in case of an emergency? How will they be traveling while away – renting a car,  Uber, taxi, hotel car service? With each of these topics, parents should do the research with their children. Times have changed – hopping into a cab or Uber here may be second nature; in a foreign country it could be dangerous. Similarly, converting money between currencies here may be easy and safe; in the travel destination at hand, it could create targets for robbery and theft.
• Keep copies of personal information. Make sure they have copies of their passport and credit cards. Copies should stay hidden in their luggage and they should also send copies of their password and credit cards for you to keep at home, just in case. While they’re traveling, they should make sure they know exactly where their passport, credit and debit cards are at all times.
• Going off alone should never be done. This means if you’re about to enter a nightclub or overly populated area, create a meeting space and designate a time that is agreed to by all ahead of time.
• Travel destinations may have different drinking laws. Even if it’s legal for your child to drink in the destination city, the discussion about drinking responsibly must still be had.
• Medical needs: In addition to everything else, make sure your child is healthy enough to travel and knows what health clinic to go to in the event of a medical emergency.

I get as excited about The Oscars as the people who are in it. It’s silly but it never fails. I watch dutifully year after year. In my typical analytical fashion, I think through each moment:

Did Chris Rock go too far in the racial commentary?

Could Cate Blanchett be any more beautiful?

Mad Max: Fury Road won how many awards?  

Would Leonard DiCaprio finally take home an Oscar?

Did Spotlight really just win Best Film of the year?

Spotlight. It’s a movie that I chose not to see in 2015. I can easily say I lacked the time but the reality is I lacked the stomach. I’m a Boston native, a graduate of Boston College, one of the most well-known Catholic Jesuit schools in the city, actually. The subject matter – the sexual assaulting of Boston city children by clergy – was just too much for me to take. I purposefully shied away from it.

Here’s the problem. My personal motto is that turning away from a criminal activity only empowers the abuser and further victimizes the victim. So, as uncomfortable as it was, I finally took the time to watch the movie. More importantly, I decided to do some research that might help kids and families.

About 10 seconds into my search, I was reminded of Gerald “Jerry” Sandusky, the retired Penn State University football coach who was charged with 52 counts of abuse in 2011.

How on earth does this happen?

Statistics help paint a picture: 93 percent of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker, 34.2 percent of attackers are family members, 58.7 percent are acquaintances and only 7 percent are strangers to the victim.

Whether looking at the victims featured in Spotlight or the children who crossed paths with Jerry Sandusky, here’s what we know:

Victims:

• Usually come from broken homes (reminder: a broken home could still have two parents, siblings, a dog and a white picket fence!)
• Are in need of a parental figure and/or may have no other adult figures to go to
• Have some sort of weakness or insecurity that can be preyed upon
• Can be manipulated easily, blackmailed, coerced
• Lack models of healthy relationships

Perpetrators:

• Have access to your children
• Earned your trust
• Are determined to groom your child and will do so over weeks, months and years
• Find any way to create a secret with your child that is used against them once the abuse has started

Parents of victims:

• Can be from every and any socio-economic class
• Are also taken advantage of by the predator, trusting them with their child
• Range from being really hands on to very much unconnected to their children

My hope is that none of you reading this will ever have to think about this issue. In fact, I’ve talked to many parents who refuse to talk about it, adding that they know, for certain, it’s never an issue they need to think about.

That’s every single parents’ wish. My sincerest suggestion, however, is to talk to your children in an age-appropriate manner about healthy relationships and what is and is not acceptable. Remind them that they should never be required to “comfort” an adult, even one they look up to and that there is never a reason to accept secret gifts. Beyond that, assure them that if someone, anyone, has coerced them or shamed them into keeping a secret they feel fearful to share, that there is a “100 percent family safe zone” where secrets can be shared with “full immunity.” The goal: get the information, keep your child safe and deal with the consequences after. See more information on this topic.

Parenting certainly is not for the faint of heart….

So, do you agree? Would you or have you talked to your children about this issue? Any good tips you can share?

We were discussing “Back to School Safety” on KRBE’s “The Roula and Ryan Show.” During the break, Roula and I reviewed listener comments. A clear majority wanted more information on the Crime Stopper’s Safe School Program but there was one that jumped out at me like a lighthouse in the dark of night . . . it simply read “not interested in the paranoid Crime Stoppers lady.”

Roula brushed over it; I honed in on it.

“Never worry what people think of you,” she said….

I agree and truly don’t care what people think of me. That said, I do care, very deeply, about their thoughts on Crime Stopper’s message of “crime prevention and public safety.”

I left the show wondering about this listener. Was there any way to reach him/her and get them to think about public safety differently? I believe, very seriously, that Houston has a public safety problem and that each of us must, at a minimum, recognize the problem so we can work towards a community solution. We need to be on the proverbial “same page.”

Let the horrific incident in Bellaire last week be a wakeup call. When a young pizzeria employee, a former Bellaire High School teen, is senselessly killed during a robbery at his place of employment, we as a community need to understand what this city is facing and what our response will be. Are we really okay with this happening in our growing city? I know I’m not.

Please remember:

• We must be embracing and supporting our law enforcement and their partner agencies.
• We encourage kids to have jobs in the community, as it’s such an enriching, fulfilling experience. If you are a parent of a teen who has a job, just take a moment to talk to your child about crime prevention and public safety. Ask what the store plan is in the case of a robbery. There is never harm in discussing and re-discussing public safety.
• Create a public safety culture in your home. This means, discuss safety plans as a family. What are the parents’ plan at work? At home? Kids’ plans at school and at work? Please, let’s never wait for the moment we are faced with a tragedy to be the time when we start to devise an exit strategy.
• If you see a crime actively happening always call 911. If you know of a crime that has already taken place or is being planned, call Crime Stoppers at 713-222-TIPS and anonymously report what you know. You can also download the free Crime Stoppers of Houston app to easily and anonymously report information. Your identity will never be known and you are eligible for a cash reward. Note: If you’re a business owner who wants more information on how to keep your business safe, please call Crime Stoppers’ administrative office at 713-521-4600.

The Bellaire shooting is another example of why our team wakes up and does this job every day. The team at Crime Stoppers loves their families and loves yours too. We can’t and shouldn’t live in fear, but I am not okay and never will be okay with the fact that this beautiful, wonderful, young life was lost for no reason at all. There are parents mourning and a community grieving… It’s a scene that should have never happened and one we don’t want to see repeated.

We are so thankful to all of you who have taken the proverbial pledge to proactively think of public safety. Let’s be involved, actively, in the solution, together.

Two weeks ago, I was with my kids at an event in Houston. My 6-year-old tugged my hand as we walked.

Mommy, why is that policeman not wearing his “superhero” uniform? (That’s what she calls law enforcement uniforms; I love it and don’t correct her).

It took me a minute to place what she was asking; then I saw him, a handsome man wearing beige slacks, a white pin-striped button down shirt and his handgun strapped on his belt.

Well, he’s not a police officer, he’s a person, just like me and daddy.

Why does he have a gun?

Some people like to carry a gun because it helps them stay safe.

Is a “bad guy” coming here? Why are we here if a bad guy is coming too?

No, we are not expecting a bad guy; we would never bring you to a place that’s dangerous.

So why the gun? Maybe it’s fun to carry?

No! It’s not fun to carry. Let’s talk about this when we get home.

Earlier this week, the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo joined the Houston Zoo and made the decision to ban open carry and concealed handguns for 2016. After that conversation with my child, I was honestly relieved when I read about the rodeo’s decision.

As of Jan. 1, 2016, a new law went into effect allowing licensed handgun carriers to openly wear their weapons both in public and private establishments. Regardless of your position on this issue, I think parents agree that we have to talk to our kids about what this means. Whether you’re in a home with guns or a home where they are banned, gun safety is a must-have conversation for all kids, starting at all ages. Here are some talking points for parents:

• If you see an open firearm, never touch it. Run away and tell a grown-up.
• Firearms are NEVER to be explored, played with or even picked up.
• If no adult is in the room where a firearm is located, run out of the space.
• Those who wear guns openly but are not police officers or soldiers are adults, wearing it lawfully, have taken tests and understand the responsibility.
• If a bad guy were to come in, they don’t step in to act as “law enforcement” – they cannot take out their weapon to proactively stop a crime.
• Those who carry a weapon do so out of a love for Texas culture and in an effort to exercise their 2nd amendment rights; it’s not an indication of safety or lack thereof.

So parents, I know this is a hot topic for many of you. I want to hear from you, what will you be telling your kids?

If you see someone carrying a weapon and it appears suspicious or if they are on private property where open carry is prohibited, here’s important information on how to respond. 

See more information on open carry. 

Feb. 14 means different things to different people. For me, it’s getting 64 class cards and candy ready and scrambling to get pink hearts and glitter to decorate gift bags and boxes. Gone are the days of romantic dinners and gifts (wait, come to think of it, did that ever really happen?). Now, it’s all about a busy checklist. And that’s okay, it’s life.

For others, Valentine’s Day is all about flowers, jewelry, chocolate and romantic dinners. With an approximate 250 million roses produced this weekend alone, it’s no wonder that the National Retail Federation estimates that Americans will spend $19 billion celebrating the commercialization of l’amour.

Regardless of what it means to you, please don’t let the hustle and bustle set you, your spouse or your children up for anything other than fun.

• Advice for Kids and Teens: if your teen’s first date coincides with Valentine’s Day (or any date for that matter), please make sure s/he understand that the hyper-manic way in which Valentine’s Day is celebrated has no correlation to the way and manner in which you are expected to show affection. Over-the-top gifts do not require you to respond in a way you are not comfortable with.
• Advice for Couples: If you’re going out, be sure to keep the exchange of extravagant gifts for when you are back home. Staying in? Believe it or not, candles are the biggest problem on Valentine’s Day, so stay aware.
• Beware of E-cards: It’s wonderful to get e-cards, but if the sender is not listed or if the sender is unfamiliar to you, don’t open the card. Spammers send these e-cards knowing in your busyness, you’ll anxiously click away.
• Confirm Address Request: You get the call or email asking you to confirm your address or any personal information in order to get the flowers that are being sent to you – don’t do it. Good friends know your address. Phishing is a huge criminal enterprise where criminals look for any opportunity to lure you into naively giving out information you wouldn’t normally give. Sadly, this trick is quite effective. According to the Kaspersky Security Network, 37.3 million Internet users faced phishing attacks between 2011-2013.

The idea behind Valentine’s Day is to show loved ones in your life how much they’re loved.  But whenever you see “busy people” + “emotion” + “the pressures of a holiday,” bad things can happen.  Awareness is always the best weapon.