If you’re busy, it’s hard to go to the gym. If you’re a parent of young children, it’s almost impossible. Gym owners know this and in an effort to leave you with no excuses, many have added childcare services to their establishments.

It seems like a slam-dunk win-win. While you go work on your body, you leave your heart, your children, just a few feet away assured that they will play, have fun and be ready for you to come get them when you’re done. Never, ever, would you imagine that those minutes or hours would be filled with tears, strikes or fear for your little ones.

Never until this past week.

I was busy in meetings when Roula Christie (an incredible mother, person, wife, and famous voice of KRBE’s Roula & Ryan Show) started texting me. She, as a parent but also as a human being, was mortified at video footage circulating that showed employees of a child-care facility at a gym in Richmond, TX striking a toddler.

Roula wasn’t alone; many parents across the city started posting and asking; how on earth could this be happening?

Well, this is how: childcare facilities where parents are on the premises (like a gym) are exempt from regulations that require fingerprinting and complete background checks of staff. In plain English, not everyone hired to watch your child is held to the legal standards and requirements of the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services.

So this had me ask: what other facilities fall within these exemptions and as parents, are you aware?

• Any facility where the care for children is offered as a “special service” by a business during an activity while the parents are at or on the premise. Example: Fitness Center. In these cases, if you have a problem, you must report it to your local law enforcement agency.
• Educational Programs or Operations like Before or After School Programs operated by an accredited school or contracted within the school or Educational Programs (preschool through sixth grade) that contract within public or private accredited schools but who do not provide custodial care for more than one hour during the hours before or after the customary school day. If a problem arises, you must report to your local law enforcement agency.
• Youth Camps that are open within a set timeframe (i.e., a summer sports camp or a nature camp). For abuse and neglect concerns click here: Reporting Waste, Abuse and Fraud (link is external). To report any other concerns regarding youth day camp operations, go to the Youth Camp Program of the Department of State Health Services (DSHS (link is external)). Phone number: 1-888-973-0022.

As parents, we don’t want to be paranoid but we sadly cannot expect others to invest in the quality of care we want and expect for our children. Here’s what we recommend:

Knowing that the state cannot regulate these facilities, check with the company who hires these employees to see what their internal guidelines and restrictions are in terms of keeping children safe, including:

• How many children are there to staff members?
• What are the rules on personal toys, food, etc.?
• How do they manage behavior?
• What type of training does the staff have to ensure the safety and security of the children they oversee is perfectly maintained?
• How do they contact you in case of an emergency?
• How does management monitor the staff?
• Are there cameras?
• How many years has the staff been working with children? What is the turn-over rate?

And then talk to your children.

The point being, ask, ask, ask and ask again. We can’t be afraid to leave our children but my goodness, one look at that video and you instinctually want to do whatever you can to not just protect your own children but any child left in a child-care facility.

Education is the key. Using your voice is second. In the case at hand, the staffers were fired and an investigation is pending. More than anything else, the company in question will hopefully do whatever they can to make sure this never happens again. For children everywhere, we hope not.

“Although Haruka loved to perform on stage she never sought the spotlight in her daily life. Perhaps the last thing she would want is to be the poster child for any cause,” the family wrote. “And yet, as we struggle to understand why she was killed, if her death can somehow make it safer for a young woman to walk home, if it will prevent another assault or murder, then at least we could find some meaning behind an otherwise senseless and tragic death.” (Source: Daily Texan)

You don’t have to look at her picture to realize how beautiful Haruka Weiser was. The 18-year-old University of Texas at Austin freshman disappeared Sunday evening near the stadium and was found dead several days later. As of Friday, the suspect (whose name does not bear mentioning) was apprehended by law enforcement. He is a 17-year-old male, a homeless youth whose actions have shattered the lives of the Weiser family, shaken the UT campus to its core and created a reminder for all parents, everywhere, to make a concerted effort to talk to their children about safety while on campus.

Many of us are thinking, we do talk about safety while on campus. We discuss drinking, sexuality and the lasting effects of our choices as we look beyond college and towards our professional careers. How many of us honestly talk to our kids about the risks of strangers or others on campus who have a plan to rape, assault and kill? It’s a horrible thought and an even worse conversation. The reality is that a 10-minute talk (done as much as you and your kid can have it), can save their life if the unthinkable were to happen.

Before you start, parents, did you know that federal law requires all postsecondary institutions that receive federal financial aid to report and monitor criminal offenses on their campuses? This data is posted annually by the Department of Education to help colleges and their communities understand the safety challenges that they face. Take a moment to read this information even if you know your school is academically strong and in a great location.

Beyond that, here’s what we want you to talk to your children about.

When walking through campus:

• If you can call an escort, do it. Every time. For example, UT offers SURE Walk (link is external), a student-run volunteer group that provides walks to and from campus for UT students, faculty and staff. Every university offers services such as this one. Make sure you’re aware of it and use it.
• Never walk alone on a college campus in the evening. Remember, even if the campus is in the heart of a vibrant city where crime is not an issue (reports show the last killing at UT was in the ’60s), you never know who will make their way on campus and if their path will cross your college student.
• If forced to walk alone, walk in well-lit areas where other students or vehicles will pass. Call friends before you leave, let them know you are on your way and the path you plan to take.
• Have a tool and plan of action if you are ever approached or assaulted. Ask the questions: What will I do if I’m attacked? What do I have on me that could be used as a weapon? Where is the nearest police stop or friend? Where could I run? Is that thought scary or morbid? No, it’s smart. If this type of thinking is engrained then your child is 10 steps ahead if attacked. They are well past the shock. They are not struggling for a plan. They are ready to fight and know what they will do.
• When walking through campus, preferably at any time but especially during the evening, night and early morning, do not walk distracted. This means – phone in hand and ready to push “send” in case of an emergency but no music in your ears. Know where you are going, who is behind you and who is in front of you.
• Critically important – make sure both you and your student are familiar with the campus, where classes are, dorms / apartments are and what the campus offers students in terms of added safety.

While in their apartments or dorms:

• Keep doors and windows locked at all times, even when down the hall visiting friends or taking a shower.
• Don’t let anyone (especially strangers) into your residence hall.
• Monitor your room key and don’t let others borrow them. If you lose your keys, report it and get locks changed immediately.

Miscellaneous:

• Always have a working cell phone.
• Save emergency numbers, including school law enforcement, in your cell phone. Also important is to make sure all your credit card company phone numbers are also loaded in the case that a wallet gets stolen.
• Trust. Your. Instincts and do not care about being rude. If you think you are being followed, don’t ignore it. Get yourself to a safe environment. Walk up to a group of people you don’t know and make conversation or share your concerns. Make a scene if you have to. Predators look for easy targets, daydreamers or distracted students.
• Notify school-based law enforcement when you see suspicious characters on your campus.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Weiser family. I’m sure that they would agree that parents everywhere should take any opportunity to proactively keep their college kids safe. You’ll never, ever regret it.

The unimaginable events at a beloved Texas institution this past week have also highlighted the incredible job of the UT school administration and law enforcement. Together, they worked strategically, quickly and effectively – leaving no stone unturned. As a direct result, the suspect in this case was immediately apprehended. Through this entire ordeal, the safety of all students became an equally important priority. What an outstanding job, in the midst of a terrible situation, that must be recognized and applauded.

Everyone knows I have three kids. I probably talk about them and share stories of their lives more than I should.

People with children understand. The love we have for our children drives us, shapes our vision, our decisions and our plans. The love for our children keeps us up at night; the loss of a child is every parent’s worst nightmare.

It is a parent’s love that made my heart break when I read of the tragic, senseless deaths of sisters Jade (age 17) and Brianna Robinson (age 19) , their mother’s only children.

The cause of death: distracted driving. They were wearing their seatbelts but the driver was distracted, looking at her GPS for directions according to investigators, and lost control of the car while on a road trip from Corpus Christi back to Houston.

Sadly, the Robinson sisters are now amongst a growing group of teens who have lost their lives while in a vehicle. How much do you know about distracted driving? Take a moment to read the stats and talk to your kids today:

• Over 2.5 million people in the United States are involved in car accidents each year. 40,000 lose their lives. 421,000 are injured.
• Of these car accidents, 1.6 million or 64 percent, involve a cell phone.
• 78 percent of all distracted drivers are distracted because of texting. Texting while driving results in 330,000 accidents yearly.
• Of all the teenagers involved in fatal accidents annually, 21 percent were using a cell phone at the time of the accident.
• A study at the University of Utah found that the reaction time for a teen using a cell phone is the same as that of a 70 year old who isn’t using one.
• Teens are mostly distracted due to texting while driving.
• Texting while driving is 6 times more likely to get you in an accident than drunk driving.
• The chances of getting into a crash while texting increase 23 times; teen drivers have a 400 percent higher chance of being in an accident due to texting and driving than an adult.
• At an average speed of 55 miles an hour and considering an average text takes 5 seconds to compose, the distance travelled while distracted will be the length of a football field.
• 94 percent of teenagers understand the consequences of texting and driving, but 35 percent admit to texting anyway.

See more on distracted driving here. 

The stats are surprising and important. Please take a moment to remind your kids:

• According to Texas law, driver under the age of 18 are not allowed to use a cell phone while driving. This means NO calls; NO hands-free calls; NO texting. It means pulling over and putting the car in park before taking out a cell phone for any reason at all.
• Texas law also states that “learners permit” holders (even over the age of 18) are prohibited from using handheld cell phones in the first six months of driving.
• For adult drivers: Texas is 1 of 6 states that has yet to enact a state-wide ban on texting and talking while driving. To date: 40 Texas cities and towns have done just that, but not Houston! This means, adult drivers in Houston can still text or talk on their phones while driving. But, of course, no one – adult or teen – should be distracted while driving.
• If you need to use GPS, put the address in while you are not driving, turn the volume all the way up and go by the voice commands. If you need to study the map, pull over.
• If you have a friend in the car, let them send an urgent text or make an urgent phone call.
• There are apps to minimize distractions, such as the It Can Wait app. This app silences incoming text message alerts and sends an auto-reply to senders.

We love our children and we love yours too. Let’s all do what we can to keep them safe on the road. Talk to them, put the cell phones away and drive safely for all our sakes.

Our hearts go out to the Robinson family and to all those affected by this tragedy.

I am usually never at a loss for words. But the incidents of this week in Brussels have left me somewhat speechless. I’m tired of writing hashtags that declare love for those who have been victims of terror. I’m tired of seeing the photos, hearing the stories, and wondering if (no, when) the next attack will be.

So this weekend, on this very special Easter day for those of you who celebrate it, I want to think about positive alternatives to fear and terror and I want to share my personal, anti-terrorism, pledge.

I will love others more

I will raise my kids to do likewise

I will learn the facts and not judge 

I will figure out how to be part of the solution 

I will not be afraid, simply vigilant

I will respect and show appreciation for our law enforcement and their families

If I see something or suspect something, I will bravely say something  

I will try to be a resource for those who are hurt

And my ears and arms will always be open to those in need 

Whether we realize it or not, we are each affected and touched by these horrific activities. We are involved. Some are determined to commit the crime, others are tragically victimized by it; some watch and form opinions, others do everything they can to distance themselves – mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or psychologically. Regardless of where you fall in the potential multitudes of categories, you are affected, one way or the other. We all are.

My hope for you this day and always is that we can set a trend of infectious goodness. I wonder if you agree? We know those who lead this country must strategize and formulate a plan, but for you and me, living our everyday lives, we can be part of the solution. We can donate clothing, food, shelter, medical supplies or a long list of other things. We can support policy through respectful discussion. We can vote our conscience. We can do something.

Once again, my heart breaks for Brussels, as it broke for Paris, Boston, New York, Beirut, San Diego, Turkey, Yemen and the long list of other countries and cities broken by terror. But in response, I will love others, celebrate this holiday with family and friends and contribute everything I have to this great city and nation. Join me, will you?

I couldn’t help but feel moved. Shelley Taylor Ludwick, Media and Event Manager at TOOTSIES, made sure everything was perfect. Thamer Kay Favor, Designer Merchandise Assistant at TOOTSIES and former Miss USA, was carefully and thoughtfully pulling fashionable, age-appropriate prom dresses for the attendees to try. Donae Chramosta, The Vintage Contessa, walked in looking like an honest-to-God belle of the ball as did former KPRC Anchor, Courtney Zavala. They took time to speak of social media savviness and true prom stories featured in the news respectively.

All these women coming together. All of these women giving of their time – and all of them doing so with only one thought in mind: keeping our daughters fabulous yet safe during prom weekend. It was really beautiful.

We call it our Prep for Prom Event and it’s free at Tootsies annually. The goal of the “shop and learn” is to bring in wonderfully connected Houston women, women who are savvy, smart, accomplished, fashionable and more to share true stories about prom (some funny, some difficult) with the hope of encouraging this year’s prom attendees to have an amazing but safe evening.

And we keep it real. No topics are off the table. When the teens’ expressions turn from mere attendance into “listening and learning,” you know you’re doing something important. Peppered into the discussion are recent changes in the law that apply to teens. So many parents think prom and problems associated with prom are rare and certainly not something they need to think of. We feel that parents and teens everywhere need to make prom safety a priority.

Here’s what we know: 

• Girls feel that prom is the second-most-significant event in a teenager’s life, after getting a driver’s license.
• Drinking, drugs, sexual activity and car accidents each play a significant role in prom weekend. Do you understand the risks?
• As much as we think teens get it, the fact is 87 percent of teens believe their peers are more likely to drive impaired instead of calling a parent or guardian for help because they are still afraid of getting in trouble.

According to the CDC, during the 2015 prom season, teens indicated that: 

• 63 percent had at least one drink of alcohol
• 44 percent used marijuana at least once
• 32 percent rode with a driver who had been drinking alcohol
• 10 percent drove under the influence
• 47 percent had sexual intercourse
• 10 percent were forced to have sexual intercourse

Of the 31 percent who were already sexually active:

• 44 percent did not use condoms
• 90 percent did not use birth control pills
• 25 percent consumed alcohol before their last sexual intercourse

Did you and your teens know: It is against the law to make alcohol available to anyone under 21, even with their parents’ permission.

So, while there is so much to think about when it comes to prom fashion, having a beautiful, fun experience, staying safe on social media and in person, we hope you’ll discuss the following, at a minimum:

• Teens, discuss your prom plans with your date ahead of time. Make sure you know what your strategy will be to handle every and any issue before you step foot out the door for prom.
• Parents, get involved in the planning of the evening. There’s a lot to discuss, from expectations to curfews, driving, drinking, cell phone use, and more. Talk it through, more than once, and make sure your teen understands the risks.

For those parents who are dealing with the question of sending teens to a rented home in Galveston or a local hotel room for prom weekend, we ask you to remember the following:

Minors, i.e. those under 18 years of age, cannot enter into any type of contract, including renting a house or hotel room. This means parents who rent the space are on the legal hook for everything that happens during the stay. The liabilities are endless and can vastly range from negligence claims to property damage suits. Remember, under any and all circumstances, alcohol cannot be given to those under 21 – even if in a home you rented, even if no driving will be done, even if kids and parents sign pledges of safety. It’s the law and you can’t create exceptions around it.

At the end of the day, while most teens will lay the pressure on to “get away” for prom weekend, the reality is it usually is not the best idea and parents are cautioned against it.

Let’s help these teens have the best prom weekend, filled with fun and learn more about prom safety here.