I love this time of year. But consider. You are busier than normal. You will spend more than normal, which means you have credit cards and probably more cash in your wallet.

I don’t want you to be a victim, but you know who else doesn’t? Buzzresident Gail Stalarow, a vice president and financial advisor at Morgan Stanley. This April, Gail was robbed at gunpoint – in daylight – at a Meyerland-area shopping center.

“I just pulled into the spot, ready to get out, opened the door, and there was a thief holding a gun,” Gail said. “The second I opened the door, she was there. And she demanded everything.”

The robber held a gun to Gail’s stomach, took her purse (with keys, wallet and phone), watch, wedding ring and mother-in-law’s wedding ring – which, thanks in part to Gail’s detective work, was eventually recovered, along with the watch.

Gail and I are teaming up to make sure all of you take steps to make yourself less a target.

Think concentration, not location. In Gail’s case, she parked in the first row, right at the strip center, but off to the side and in a less concentrated area. Now, when Gail parks, she doesn’t care about a shorter walk but seeks to make herself a less desirable target by parking in a busy part of the lot filled with other cars, pedestrians and good lighting.

The way you pull in matters. In Gail’s case, she pulled in nose first. The robber easily creeped up to Gail’s driver-side door, coming from the parking lot, without being noticed by others. As the door opened, the criminal slid in, and the door blocked the view from others. Gail feels that had she pulled in back first, it would have made her car a less desirable target. The criminal would have had to walk to the door from the store-side front. As the door opened, it would allow full view for those walking into and out of stores. Think about where you have more visibility when you open your door.

Think about what you wear when you shop. Intentionally think through the jewelry, emotionally priceless and designer items you are wearing. The more you wear, the higher value your items appear, the more you have to lose and the greater target you become. Keep a journal with photos of your jewelry at home.

The phone issue. Gail said many assumed she was distracted by her phone, but she wasn’t on it. Beyond that, she doesn’t feel like being on your phone automatically makes you a target. I agree, as long as you are attentive, making eye contact with others and remain aware of where you currently are as opposed to being lost in conversation.

Walk intentionally. Shop in peak hours. Don’t be paranoid, but be vigilant. Walk with focus, make eye contact, be aware of your surroundings, hold your purse close to you and keep it closed. Try to shop during daylight. If at night, ask if personnel or security can walk you out. In some cases, I have purposely waited for another shopper to exit, so there was someone else with me walking out. Criminals want easy targets.

What if the unthinkable happens?

Stay calm. Remember everything. Gail made a point to look at her robber’s face, when it was safe to do so. She stayed quietly in her car until the woman walked away, but she watched the whole time. Gail was able to describe the assailant and tell police which way she exited the parking lot.

Know what’s in your wallet. In an effort to contact all the necessary people and companies, you need to know what was in your wallet. Make copies of everything, including your license, and keep those copies in a safe at home.

Immediately surround yourself with good people. Call police immediately and allow yourself to get support from your family and friends. This is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty for.

Safely help law enforcement. Gail worked with law enforcement to solve her own case. She canceled all credit cards but mistakenly missed one. That said, purchases on that one card caused her to call the credit-card company and learn where the criminal was using the card. She and the law-enforcement investigator got camera footage, and Gail pointed out the robber in the video. The suspect was arrested and put in jail awaiting trial. It turned out the suspect had a male counterpart tasked with selling Gail’s items to a pawn shop. An anonymous tip to Crime Stoppers assisted in the arrest of that person.

Shop, live and enjoy this wonderful time. Just do it all with vigilance.

2016 Cyber Monday Shopping, by the numbers:

Here are some stats to think about, according to Nielsen’s just-released 2016 Holiday Trends:

• More Shopping: 63 percent of consumers plan to shop on Cyber Monday (increase from 2015)
• Mobile Commerce: 50 percent of American consumers will shop for Cyber Monday deals on their mobile devices (that’s up from 39 percent in 2015)
• Who is Shopping: All age demographics with millennials leading the way
• More consumers want to shop online and avoid the stores altogether with 58 percent of consumers surveyed saying they will purchase their holiday gifts online; 40 percent said they will go to big-box retail stores and only 25 percent said they plan to hit department stores

How to Shop Safely: 
According to the collaborative study published by OC&C Strategy Consultants, online retail markets like Paypal and Google will double by 2018. Where millions flock to spend, and spend in excess and quickly, criminals will gather. These criminals will look to steal identity and take credit card information. Here are some tips on staying safe while shopping online:

Go to Trusted Brands with a Strong Reputation

Why? They have an existing reputation and plan to stay in business for the long run. You know what they are selling and there is a storefront to go to or a well-established service line to address any issues you have.  That said, buyer beware: Criminals know you’ll think this way so they will fraudulently create fake, yet professional-looking websites that make you assume that you are purchasing from a reputable, big-brand store that may just have their headquarters in another part of the country. In fact, researchers at Google found that “high-quality phishing (the activity of defrauding an online account holder of financial information by posing as a legitimate company) sites” are so effective, they have a 45 percent success rate at extracting your information. For fraudulent sites that are not as well executed, the success rate is still at 31 percent. Also, I know you’re moving quickly but please make sure the store name is spelled correctly in the URL – bestbuy.com rather than bsetbuy.com; bankofamerica.com not bankofamerca.com.

Pull out the Credit Cards; Leave the Debit Cards Alone

Why? Credit cards offer consumers additional protections when shopping online. They often have no limit on the monetary amount you will be responsible for paying if your information is stolen and used by someone. Credit cards are also not linked to your private banking accounts. Additionally, use secure online payment services (like PayPal). These providers act like a middle man and are responsible to keep your personal information one-step away from the seller. Your bank details are always unseen.

Look for the Padlock Symbol  and https URL

Before you shop, glance at the URL and make sure you see both a “padlock symbol” before the URL followed by “https.”  Websites that have these two components are safe because they utilize a Secure Sockets Layer to encrypt any information that is shared online (i.e., your credit card information).

Too Good To be True? Think it Through. 

Even though we’re going from Black Friday to Cyber Monday and the name of the game is “deals, deals, deals,” please be wary of offers that seem too good to be true. All this means is you can jump on great opportunities (because of course there are many) but do so after you have done your research, made sure the offer is real, confirmed you are on a legitimate site, made sure to locate the security identifiers on the site and haven’t been asked for things that seem out of the ordinary to make the purchase (i.e., you weren’t taken to another site to enter credit card information or finalize the purchase).

Why would scammers try to lure you this way? They can be trying to steal your credit card information, banking information, infect your device or steal your identity.

Opt for Your Mobile Phone Network over Public WiFi

Considering that many of us are shopping on our mobile devices, please make sure you are still using your secure WiFi. While you can get free WiFi almost anywhere, it doesn’t mean it’s secure. Check to make sure your computer or smartphone is not set up to automatically connect to unknown WiFi networks — or set it to ask you before connecting — so you’re sure you know what you’re connecting to when you connect. If a secure option is not available, use your own mobile phone network rather than a public WiFi. (Read more on this here.)

If your Information is Compromised 

Cancel your credit card immediately. Notify your bank and call all your other credit card companies. Contact the credit bureaus. Change all your personal banking passwords as well as the login for the email account you tied to your fraudulent purchase. Print every document associated with this purchase and file a police report followed by a claim with the Federal Trade Commission, immediately.

Wherever people gather and life takes place, criminals gather too. It’s okay as long as you are in control and aware. We want you to have the best possible holiday filled with friends, family and fun. Make sure you are locking criminals out wherever possible.

I was in the middle on putting on makeup and focused on the day ahead. But before I knew it, the muffled words playing from The Today Show were starting to stand out…

Despite the known risks of these behaviors, studies have shown that 30 percent of women between 18 and 23 suffer from drunkorexia. 

Drunkorexia? Yes. It’s a non-medical term to describe a very real thing. According to research shared by the University of Texas, it refers to “someone who restricts food calories or purges their food to make room for alcoholic drink calories.”

In addition to everything else, let’s now understand this growing trend that is affecting mainly young women – but also young men – across the country. The behavior stems from a fear of weight gain coupled with a desire to drink and feel the effects of alcohol. Here’s what the behavior looks like:

• students may starve themselves of food trading calories from food for calories from alcohol
• students may starve themselves of food in hopes that they will experience a higher and quicker state of drunkenness; this in turn reduces self-control and increases propensity to make impulsive/risky decisions
• students may use alcohol to make vomiting easier or to help manage anxieties around social eating

Shockingly, a University of Houston study of 1,200 students performed by Professor Dipali Rinker found up to 80 percent of those asked were restricting calories, over-exercising, purging or using laxatives in combination with binge drinking to avoid weight gain.
There are so many reasons this is of great concern:

• These behaviors are on the rise.
• Combining eating disorders and binge drinking is a deadly combination posing great risks to one’s physical, mental and emotional health.
• Once drunk, these students (who are also hungry) are more likely to engage in binge eating, which sets them on a cycle of purging and hitting emotional lows once the alcohol wears off.

Let’s take a moment to discuss this scary new trend and offer solutions:

• College students will drink; encourage drinks in moderation.
• Look at the caloric intake of a variety of drinks and discuss which ones are best to stay away from (based on calories and level of alcohol) and which ones are best to sip on (in moderation). Example: encourage ordering one drink and sipping on it slowly.
• Explain why you must eat prior to drinking. A quick shot of alcohol to a young woman who is otherwise starving is a recipe for disaster. Aside from losing control and setting yourself up for terrible danger, you will more than likely overeat while you are intoxicated. Instead, let’s create a caloric plan for the day. Plan to eat a low-calorie, healthy meal every evening. Period.
• Encourage exercise!
• For young adults with eating disorders, please seek professional help. Many of these disorders have deep connections to anxiety, depression or other mental health issues and cannot be ignored.

Young men and women have enough to think about . . . sadly, add to that the fact that in these changing times, they are creating more problems for themselves when they go out. Add to that the reality that these problems spread like fire thanks to social media. And finally, add to that these actions have physical, psychological and mental consequences. It’s hard to stay on top of it all, I know. But we have to. Start today with a simple conversation and warning about drunkorexia.

One step at a time, working together, let’s do whatever we can to keep each other safe.

Over the course of just one week, three Houston teens either ran away or went missing. Three. Is it a huge number? No. It is an incredibly alarming number? Yes.

While we don’t have all the information on each case, an interview with sophomore Alyssa Schaefer explicitly spoke of her plan to run away because life at home was “too stressful.” It caused many to ask – what real stresses do kids have?

To me, that is the wrong question. There are kids all over this city living with families whose circumstances range tremendously. We can certainly understand why a child may run, particularly if they are in an abusive home or are dealing with personal issues (addictions, developmental issues, behavioral issues or more). Those are critical issues for another day.

Right now, I want to focus on those kids who run but are in otherwise good, healthy homes. Why would they run?

• Could they be lured by a stranger? Remember, if your child has free rein online, they will likely connect with strangers online. Amongst these strangers are trained, determined predators who are 10 steps ahead of your child. No tween or teen has the skills to stand up to these predators.
• Could they have a desire for change or excitement?
• Could they have a faulty problem-solving response in the face of rules, limits or a variety of perceived problems (school, sibling, friends, changes in body or otherwise)?
• Do you think they have a “grass-is-greener” personality?

Let’s be honest, all a child needs to run away is:

• Ability
• Willingness
• Opportunity

Parents, would you take time today to talk about this very real topic with your children? Here’s how:

• Step 1: Think about each of these issues in light of your child. Are there any potential cross-overs?
• Step 2: Have an honest conversation with your tweens and teens about the realities of running away – the dangers of being a young person on the streets alone; the hunger you may face in time; the probability of trafficking within hours of running away (parents, in an age-appropriate manner or as you see fit; use the facts: about 1.3 million runaway and homeless youth live in America, 5,000 die annually and over 300,000 are forced into sex or labor trafficking); the reality is that once you are gone and in the hands of someone else, it is almost impossible to get back home; you are not old enough, wise enough or capable enough to handle life on your own and certainly cannot and should not feel that life on the streets is in any way more appealing than your current home. Walk them through facts of law – minors cannot rent hotel rooms, get most jobs, rent cars or rent apartments.
• Step 3: Identify the stressors in your child’s life and talk about solutions together as a family. No matter what your child is facing, there is a solution – teach them those problem-solving skills and remind them that the solution never involves throwing your life into the vulnerable, dangerous hands of strangers or the streets.

Children in today’s world do live with incredible stress. TV and movies catered to tweens and teens are certainly not age appropriate; teen clothing seems designed to put pressure to look a certain way instead of feel comfortable; music pushes agendas; schools teach to standardized tests; kids are overscheduled; parents are working and busy; and life, no matter how you look at it, is different for families today.

All that said, families can still get through it all, together. And kids belong in only one place: their homes. Let’s have the hard conversations today and let’s remind our children how unconditionally loved and accepted they are, every day.

As always, my sincerest wish is for the safety and peace of your kids and mine, always.

I hate these headlines but here it was, staring back at me on my computer screen:

Teen goes missing in West University (abc13)

16-year-old girl missing from West U (KHOU)

Sloane G. Soler was last seen Oct. 12, 2016 when she went missing from the 6400 block of Brompton. A Lamar High School student, Sloane was last seen wearing blue shorts, white Adidas shoes with black stripes, a blue jean jacket and a blue backpack. She is 5’8”, weighs about 130 lbs., and has green eyes and brown hair.

Her social media posts (those I could see, that is) paint the picture of a decent, smart, athletic, inquisitive, witty young girl.

It goes without saying that for a parent dealing with a missing youth, every second is agony. My deepest and sincerest hope is that by the time this is published, Sloane will be back home, with her family, where she belongs.

Authorities believe Sloane may have run away and be in Houston, Texas or traveled to San Francisco, California.

Parents, if any of you have kids who know Sloane: please have them pay attention to Snapchat, Instagram and Gmail, as she often uses these accounts. She does not have her phone with her but if she has access to a laptop or phone with friends then she may be on these sites.

Kids, please share what you know. Kids who have information but are withholding from law enforcement could be criminally charged. If there is an older man involved (hopefully not), once found, he will be criminally prosecuted under the law. It’s critical that if anyone – including kids – are withholding information, they should understand the gravity of the situation and share what they know now.

But as of this moment, Sloane’s whereabouts are still unknown. So what could have happened? Someone, somewhere, knows something. For those that do, please – call the West U police (link is external) at 713-668-0330 with any information.

And what does this mean for us? We talk all the time about keeping kids safe and I am sure the Solers did just that . . . but would you know what to do the instant your child disappears?

• Act immediately. Statistics for survival and location are best within the first 24 hours. This means contact local law enforcement the instant you are certain your child is missing.
• Be prepared to supply a complete, detailed description of your childincluding clothes, physical appearance, as well identifying marks on their body.
• Have recent photos available. Be prepared to provide these photos to investigators, media and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) 1-800-THE-LOST or 1-800-843-5678. Parents, the immediate aftermath of a missing child is beyond traumatic. You may not want to go through this process as it solidifies the gravity of the situation. That said, you have no choice. The first 24 hours are the most critical and require you to be calm and do every possible thing necessary to get your child back.
• Be able to answer questions – where were they or where should they be at that specific time of the day. Parents, this is a good exercise for you and your kids. You drop them off at school and pick them up but how many of us know where they are during the day? When do they have classes, when do they or could they leave their campuses? When are they not in the care of someone from the school? Additionally, go through the areas surrounding their schools, point out areas that are unsafe and in which they should never venture out in alone and remind them, please, do always stay in pairs as much as possible. Many of us don’t actually know the details of our kid’s days at school – let’s change that.
• Know of all social media accounts, passwords, email accounts and apps downloaded on their phones or iPads. Parents, this is another good exercise. You know your kids are online but do you know all their various accounts? Yes, privacy is good and you can trust each other not to access their accounts (depending on your child and your relationship) but explain to them why it is critically important that you have access in case of an emergency.
• Ensure that law enforcement officials enter your child’s informationinto the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) Missing Person File. Contact the Texas Center for the Missing (link is external) and have them issue an Amber Alert. Also, ask law enforcement to notify the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) of the abduction.
• Your home will be part of the investigation so limit entrance to anyone outside of law enforcement. Officers will need to examine the child’s bedroom, computers and other personal effects and those will touch your entire house.
• Keep written records of everything. Make sure you have the names and contact numbers of all investigators you talk to as well as anyone else who is investigating the case. This will allow you to update them quickly and vice versa as critical house of the case unfold.
• Make a list of friends, family and acquaintances who have had recent contact with your child. This list should also include those you have had conflict with (especially negative dealings), new neighbors and any others that have reason to know your child and the ability to have access to him/her during the day.
• Stay calm. It’s impossible, I know, but stay as calm as possible. Your child needs you to be calm and do everything you can to get him/her back. If you have other children, this is especially important.

It is a horrible situation. It’s the worst of the worst. Whether you are dealing with a runaway or an abducted child, the dangers to your child are too much to bear. And while the probability of this happening is low, please take a moment to think about these steps, ask your kids the questions above and have a mental plan in place.