It’s an incredibly complex question when you examine it amidst the overwhelming allegations that have come out against Larry Nassar, allegations that span decades and involve major institutions. It leaves one asking How on earth could this have taken place for so long and how could the abuse have thrived despite repeated outcries?

The Criminal Beast

In one of the biggest sexual scandals in sports history, Larry Nassar, a former USA Gymnastics national team osteopathic physician, was named in hundreds of lawsuits filed by athletes who allege he sexually abused them under the guise of giving medical treatment. Amongst the many who came forward are the USA Gymnastic national team members: Jamie Dantzscher, Jeanette Antolin, McKayla Maroney, Aly Raisman, Maggie Nichols, Gabby Douglas, Simone Biles and Jordyn Wieber.

The first case against Nassar in 2016 stemmed from charges he sexually assaulted a 6-year-old girl from 1998-2005. Very shortly thereafter, he was indicted on federal child pornography charges when the FBI found more than 37,000 images and videos of child pornography in his home including a GoPro video of Nassar allegedly molesting girls in a swimming pool. On July 11, 2017, Nassar plead guilty to federal child pornography charges and was sentenced to 60 years in prison.

With the escalating allegations coming out against him, on Nov. 22, 2017, Nassar plead guilty to seven charges of first-degree sexual assault. One week later, he plead guilty to three additional charges of sexual assault. On Jan. 24, 2018, Nassar was sentenced to 40 to 175 years in prison, set to run after Nassar serves the 60-year federal prison sentence for child pornography.

Through the course of this investigation, 150 victims came forward detailing Nassar’s sexual assault as well as the “emotionally abusive environment” in which they suffered – girls involved with the gymnastic, softball, rowing and track and field programs.

But how, with the watching eye of parents, coaches, nurses and institutions like the United States Olympic Committee, USA Gymnastics, Michigan State University and the Karolyi Ranch, did such abuse exist and thrive for so long?

Because they all turned a blind eye.

While USA Gymnastics fired Nassar in 2015 and Michigan State University reassigned and then fired Nassar in 2016, both have been accused of enabling Nassar’s abuse and are named as defendants in civil lawsuits former gymnasts have filed against Nassar.

Former Michigan State University gymnastics coach Kathie Klages as well as president Lou Anna Simon have been forced to resign. That said, prior to their removal, what did they do with reports of abuse? Dismiss them. In fact, in 2016, when the investigations around Nassar began, Coach Klages allegedly asked her department to sign a card for him, to let him know they were thinking about him.

Here’s the Point:

Predators are trained – trained to groom, trained to abuse in plain sight and trained to cover it up. How can a 6-year-old or even a 16-year-old can stand up to that type of power and influence knowing that if she fails, the outcome for her might only be worse at her next doctors appointment?Truth is, she cannot.

Gymnast Kyle Stephens reports that she told her parents at the age of 12 that she was being abused by Nassar and had been since she was 6 years old. Stephens’ parents looked into it, of course, but Nassar was able to convince them she was lying. Stephens was forced to apologize.

“Larry Nassar wedged himself between myself and my family, and used his leverage as a family friend to pry us apart until we fractured,” Stephens said at the hearing.

In 2016, when the allegations truly came out, Stephens’ father took his own life.

Add Their Power to Our Culture:

The truth is, until now, girls and young women were not seen as credible witnesses when it comes to sexual abuse. Nassar is a pedophile, a child abuser and, for many of these US Gymnastic Olympians, he is guilty of workplace sexual violence. And he got away with all of it.

This case highlights the critical importance of believing girls and women when they disclose. Historically, our first instinct is to assume the girls or women misunderstood or even “deserved” the attack, but in today’s culture, the pendulum of belief is hopefully swinging in the other direction.

“The army you chose in the late ’90s to silence me, to dismiss me and my attempt at speaking the truth, will not prevail over the army you created when violating us,” said Tiffany Thomas Lopez, one of the victims at the hearing.

From #MeToo to #NeverAgain

So while celebrities and media have come on board and will embrace outcries, what will be your personal strategy? We must be talking, talking and talking again to the youth in our lives and encouraging them to disclose, disclose and disclose again until they are heard. We must be making sure our universities, athletic teams and places of work have strict sexual harassment policies and that those at the top have no qualms about enforcing them.

How much is a girl worth? It’s an incredible question and the answer is – everything. Her safety is worth everything. Her words are worth everything and because she can no longer be hushed and silenced and dismissed, hopefully her stature and power will rise and she will feel that, walk that and use that. The #MeToo movement must become the #NeverAgain movement. I think this generation of girls will take us there.

Let’s Start By Recognizing What Happened:

The Turpins had 13 children, ranging in age from 2 to 29. The children, held captive in the family’s tract house in California were abused, starved, strangled, forbidden to bathe, often shackled to their beds, forced to urinate in their beds and deprived every basic necessity. They had never been to a dentist and hadn’t seen a doctor in over four years.

The kids were forced to sleep during the day and stay up in the evening. The details of their education are unknown; except for one, none were registered to any school. They were only allowed to journal. Their freedom came when one of the teenaged girls escaped and contacted the authorities after two years of planning. The parents are charged with 12 felony counts of torture, child abuse, abuse of dependent adults and false imprisonment. Mr. Turpin was also charged with one count of a lewd act on a child by force. If convicted, they face up to 94 years to life in prison.

This case presents so many issues. Families living in hiding can do whatever they want behind closed doors. In this case, because the home was registered as a “private school”, authorities do not regulate it, which provided the Turpins with another layer of privacy. This means our involvement and response becomes even more critical.

In some cases, there are obvious signs of abuse:

• A child is withdrawn from friends and activities
• Signs of aggression, anger, social anxiety, depression, self-consciousness and/or fear exist
• Schoolwork suffers, child absent often; once at school, child doesn’t want to go home
• Attempts to run away
• Physical abuse – child has unexplained injuries, bruises, fractures or burns and explanation doesn’t make sense
• Sexual abuse – child has trouble walking or complains of genital pain, begins to behave in a manner that is inappropriate considering age
• Neglect – child unusually hungry at school, poor hygiene, lack of proper clothing, poor growth or weight gain
• Parental behavior – seems off, parent unconcerned, not involved in or interested in school progress or activities, doesn’t recognize child’s physical or emotional distress, can’t explain child’s injuries, demeans child, and more.

Less Obvious Signs, When You are Suspicious and We Need You to Get Involved:

• You know the family has children, but you never or rarely see them. They are not out playing, there are no signs of friends or “life” coming and going. No one knows what school they attend. They seem hidden and isolated. They are unkempt. Don’t shrug any of those signs off. Please.
• Seek these children out and, if possible, talk to them – ask them if they are okay but more than their response, follow your instincts on their status.
• If you know there are children in the home but never see them – start investigating. Ask around – do they go to a school that anyone is aware of, does anyone in your community ever see them? If so, when do people see them, how do they appear? Do they have any friends in the community?
• Keep a diary of what you see and observe and when – you may eventually uncover patterns or opportunities to help further.
• Don’t be afraid to make contact with other trusted adults, a teacher or a law enforcement officer. If you cannot find anyone else that has contact with the child, this is a red flag.
• If you suspect abuse, REPORT IT.
• If you are unsure but something is not right, STILL REPORT IT.

It’s ALWAYS Your Business but What Rights Do You Have? 

• Anyone can report suspected child abuse or neglect. In fact, TX Fam. Code 261.101 states: Any person who has cause to believe that a child has been adversely affected by abuse or neglect shall immediately make a report.
• Social workers, all school personnel, all healthcare workers, all mental health professionals, all childcare providers and law enforcement officers are legally required to report and are held legally liable for knowingly or willfully failing to make such reports.
• Is my information kept confidential? All jurisdictions have provisions in statute to maintain the confidentiality of case records. The identity of the reporter is specifically protected from disclosure to the alleged perpetrator in most states. In Texas, however, the reporter can waive confidentiality and give consent to release his/her name.
• What if I’m wrong? If you follow the reporting guidelines required by the state {which are very easy to do}, you are protected from litigation for your honest suspicions.
• What if I’m intentionally making false reports? Texas carries penalties in their civil child protection laws for any person who willfully or intentionally makes a report of child abuse or neglect that the reporter knows to be false

Where Do You Report?

If you suspect a child is being abused or neglected, or if you are a child who is being abused or neglected, contact the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services or your local law enforcement agency or call 1-800-252-5400.

When I was growing up, there was a sense that families could do what they wanted within their homes. They could also, for the most part, “discipline” as they saw fit. While situations that rose to abuse should have always been reported, it seems there were less cases of this sadistic, physical, methodical and mentally horrifying torture. As society continues to spin out of control, the types of things happening behind closed doors is becoming more and more concerning – and, ultimately, our responsibility to stop. In the Turpin case, I keep thinking about those who knew those children existed – those who attended the couples’ wedding or interacted with the family in the early years before the isolation and abuse escalated. Those who were related. Where were those people?

All we know is now, as a community, we will come together, as we so beautifully do, and hopefully support these warrior victims. We can do so by giving financially (links below) and supporting these lives that will start anew. And we, will hopefully, never go back to “business as normal” because after all, these kids should be protected as if they were our kids too.

Backstory

Paul, a young, handsome social media star was not just followed by millions but also starring in TV series and films produced by Red, YouTube’s ad-free subscription streaming service. He was a revenue generating magnet for the mega-media platform with a promising future. But while Paul simultaneously made his living out of bold, live, online living, his decision to share an image of a dead man while he was walking through Japan’s Aokigahara Forest on December 31, 2017 ultimately led to his demise.

The national reaction was positive and negative, settling and dizzying. The positive (not in my opinion, mind you) – in a media-driven world where any media, good or bad, is good, Paul is now more famous than ever. The negative – Paul’s horrible decision, his lack of understanding the complexities of mental health and of the deep sadness suicide means for so many, led to the cancelling of his programs by YouTube. Settling because we saw a corporate giant respond and reprimand appropriately but dizzying because the very nature and essence of that corporate giant is to encourage and reward bold, raw, real-time, and live-at-all-times streaming.

As a grown woman and mother, I’m confused. It’s no wonder that Paul, a young man, is confused too.

Am I defending him? No. But do I blame him alone? NO.

Irony

Here’s the deal. I’m tired of overlooking the irony. YouTube encourages increased viewership. The more views you get, the more YouTube wants to support and feature you. You see parents forcing kids into the spotlight with the hope of millions of subscribers and a YouTube deal. The more sensational, the more outrageous, the more outlandish, the greater your viewership will be…

Sure, in the aftermath of a bad decision, YouTube is up in arms saying: “Paul’s video violated the company’s “policy” [which] prohibits violent or gory content posted in a shocking, sensational or disrespectful manner. We partner with safety groups such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline to provide educational resources that are incorporated in our YouTube Safety Center.” 

The policy is great on paper but very frustrating. These platforms make extremely lucrative earnings off users who are bold, shocking and continuous. These platforms are also employing developers who study the habits of men, women and children to ensure (ENSURE) that they will continually come back for more. Developers who understand:

• Our need for social validation. A Facebook like or YouTube subscriber or Instagram follower makes us happy. Many of us chase that feeling and will engage in more to get more online traction.
• Our fear of missing out. In a study by Dr. Stephanie Rutledge, a person’s desire to collaborate drives online engagement with 67 percent of users say that they’re afraid they’ll “miss something”.
• Our ego. 80 percent of our online conversations are about self-disclosure, compared to 30 to 40 percent of offline conversations. Think of how many times we update our status or post pictures of ourselves! And,
• Our brain chemistry. Social networks are physically and psychologically addictive. A Harvard University study indicates that self-satisfying online engagement fires up the same part of the brain as does an addictive substance.

And the developers are right on. Look at the numbers… There are:

• Over 2 billion social network users
• Over 500 million tweets sent every day
• Over 70 million images uploaded on Instagram every day and
• Well over 300 hours of video uploaded per minute on YouTube

Now What?

It’s time these major social media platforms, companies that are thriving financially and gaining market share by the second, stop creating the problem and then punishing users for falling right into a trap almost inevitably set for them.

These companies, along with us, the community, must be talking about (especially with our children) responsible posting. We must talk and talk again about mental health issues, especially what to do if we see them popping up online; about the repercussions to others when posting gets out of hand or is inappropriate; about short-and long-term consequences for minors who live their lives online and so much more.

But my plans were wildly derailed before they could begin when I decided to quickly check my email and glance at my newsfeed. What a disastrous move that turned out to me. Within seconds, I realized that I could not connect to my email, I couldn’t access the web through my computer and our “smart TV” could not connect to the network. I was essentially “cut off” during what was discovered to be a neighborhood “network outage”. And while the plan was to unplug, the fact that I had no option to plug in literally set me over the edge. I’m not going to lie, I nearly lost my mind. Those lonely, empty minutes went by painfully. It’s debilitating how loud the silence can be…

As I sat in deep discomfort, I thought back to the Crime Stoppers 2016 Gala where our Keynote Speaker at the time, the dapper Ted Koppel, posed this question – What would you do if you could no longer access technology? What would you do if a global attack were to hit our cyber grid and we were all forced to go dark? The thought was quite honestly unimaginable until that wretched morning when I was forced to go dark. And I’ll tell you, it was horrifying.

But as the clock struck midnight and 2017 turned to 2018, I thought about our deep dependencies and our deep vulnerabilities in the cyber age. In our online lives, we are always at risk. In fact, a look at 2017 gives us a good example of this… known as the year of cyber breaches, in 2017, billions (not millions) of people like you and me had our most sensitive information stolen as a byproduct of major corporate security attacks. When major retailers were hacked, it was our information that was taken; when major banking institutions were jeopardized, it was our data that was compromised.

Beyond the break and the risk is the reality that in addition to your everyday criminal, there are teams and networks of cyber criminals whose missions are to create data breaches, security issues and disrupt the good technology is to provide. So what are their plans for 2018 and what do we need to be aware of? According to a recent study by IBM, there’s quite a bit but here are their Top 5 “Security Predictions” for 2018:

1. Artificial Intelligence Used Against Us. Cybercriminals will systematically be using artificial intelligence to both speed up and automate their attacks. Through “machine learning” they will parody humans making it harder for us to decipher their phishing attacks. As a result, cybersecurity teams will need to use counter artificial intelligence to combat these rising crimes.
2. Africa Gains a Seat at the Table. Africa is on the brink of an economic boom through a huge growth in technology. Cybercriminals will both target that area but where you and I need to be concerned, they will have their eyes on the US and potential cyber insecurities they can monopolize.
3. Your Data Held Hostage. We all remember the unbelievable ransomwares that targeted personal computers last year and locked files until the owners paid a ransom. That type of activity is growing. Beware of computers still but now, with the rise of the smart home and smart technology, ransomware will be targeting devices like security cameras, Amazon’s Echo, and connected appliances.
4. A Whole New Level of Stolen Identities. 2017 was a historical year when it came to stolen identities and security breaches. It is estimated that an astonishing two billion records were stolen. One attack allowed for 50 percent of US names, social security numbers and more to be stolen. That breach affected 143 million consumers! As a result, companies and other entities which rely on social security numbers for security will be forced to find an alternative method and new forms of technology must be created to protect people’s information online. As individuals, we need to recognize that no matter where our information rests, it is not safe. With that in mind, be diligent about checking your records, online information and running credit reports (wisely and cautiously) on not just yourself but your minor children.
5. Prepare to Respond. With all that took place in 2017, as a community, we were lagging behind the attacks of cybercriminals. This must change in 2018. In Europe, companies are required to report and respond to data breaches instantly and completely within 72 hours or face enormous fines.  This push is hitting the States. Additionally, knowing that each of us is a potential target, we must constantly live aware, on top of our data and ready to respond personally. Push the companies you business with to do the same.

Being a multi-billion-dollar industry, cybercriminals have stepped up their game and will continue to develop the best tools possible to breach networks and wreak havoc. But like anything else, through education and awareness, we can ultimately position ourselves to be one step ahead.

Each week, the team at Crime Stoppers and The Buzz Magazines discuss potential story ideas for SMWR – what will resonate, what will be newsworthy, is there an uplifting angle, what must we share? Undoubtedly, what we pick toward the beginning of the week changes due to breaking news at the end of the week. Regardless, I love those conversations and the ability to discuss the trends and then just, write.

And so as we hit the last day of the year, I’m reflecting on the wild twists and turns of 2017 and the many stories and topics we have covered. We’ve also studied how you have responded. Here’s a look back at the top five most-read SMWR and why I hope these resonated with you:

1. Sloane G. Soler: When They Disappear 

Whenever a child goes missing, it is horrifying but the story of Sloane Soler forced us as community to ask different questions. This beautiful young lady with the most beautiful of families was gone. Why? How? Could she have left willingly? And what does it mean for each of us? While the topic is an awful one to consider, we were all forced to consider it and walk our way through it. I hope that this article helped you do just that.

2. Spring Break Tragedies, Gone Too Soon 

SMWR covers local and national headlines, of course, but sometimes, the stories stem from personal connections to community. Spring break 2017 was one filled with heartbreak for many of our family and friends. I wrote about it in a very honest way and shared basic safety measures for all families everywhere.

3. 13 Reasons Why Not 

The Netflix phenomenon, 13 Reasons Why, swept the nation and captured the attention of teens everywhere. The responses were good, bad and frightening. Psychologists and psychiatrists were saying the teen series was leading to higher suicide rates and urging parents to ban the show. We know that teens still watched it and were still seeking it out and so I felt it was important to address 13 Reasons Why Not – the 13 reasons teens should never consider suicide. Of all the posts I’ve written, my hope was this one would be shared the most. I was so thankful to see it was on the top 5 list.

4. The Michelle Carter Case 

Parenting is hard enough but in the age of social media, it is much harder. Add to that the fact that crimes and punishments for youthful online activity is being defined daily and it’s no wonder many are left unsure what to say to their growing children. The Michelle Carter case out of Boston was one such case. Not only did it define a new level of legal punishment for texting but it opened the door to so much more – the lasting life consequences stemming from the online virtual world most kids live their lives in… A review of this topic and the outcomes was important for many to read and I was thankful they did.

5. The Women Behind the Movement 

2017 was an incredible year for Houston and also a historic year for Crime Stoppers of Houston. Not only did we open the first Crime Stoppers headquarters anywhere in the world but worked hard to make Public Safety part of the mainstream conversation and hopefully opened the door to many more conversations around the kitchen table at home. We certainly did not cut the ribbon or move the needle alone and it was important to highlight those – especially the women – who helped us get to where we are as a community. I am not only so thankful to all those listed but am appreciative to anyone who took the time to read, share or give a word of thanks to those who did so much to help!

Thank you for allowing me into your spaces and places and for taking the time to read SMWR! I can promise you this, as word after word pours through my fingers and onto the page, I am thinking of each of you and hoping that this column enriches your life and helps you in any way possible.

My hope is that we continue to talk, ask questions, share information and do everything possible to keep you and yours safe. My sincerest wishes to you all for a happy, healthy and SAFE 2018!