With each article, I stop and stare at images of the man, now 80 years old. My thoughts are all over the map. I think of the rise and fall of this American icon, “America’s Dad,” the patriarch of The Cosby Show, a symbol for the African-American community in the ’80s, the chosen spokesperson for America’s favorite treat (Jell-O), a beloved comedian and a vocal teacher and advocate for better education, stronger communities and hard work. As a young child, it was Bill Cosby’s character, Dr. Huxtable, who introduced me to the world of jazz; he introduced young parents to the “art of talking to children.”

But, oh how the mighty fall… From legions of women making claims against him, to the verdict reached this week, to both Carnegie Mellon University and University of Notre Dame revoking the honorary degrees they awarded Cosby in 2007 and 1990 respectively to Cosby now facing house arrest and the potential of 10 years in prison, the massive legacy he could have left is forever stained.

And as we try to process this, there are women and men who feel that Cosby is innocent. That some of these women went to him willingly, eager for the fame, willing to offer themselves to take their next steps. Even now in the aftermath, there are those who feel that the claimants are still seeking this fame and will trade a willing night with Cosby years ago for a legal claim today that pushes them back into the spotlight.

And then there are others who believe the #MeToo movement began with Cosby and applaud the women who spoke out. We’ve read their testimonies and compared their claims. Their experiences are all so similar. Most were young, aspiring actors or models. Most were invited by Cosby or one of his staff for a private meeting. While there, they were coherent one moment, nervous of course, and then offered Benadryl, a drink and/or a pill to take the edge off. The memories that followed were cloudy but each left knowing that without question, they were drugged and victimized. Over a course of decades, more than 50 girls and women possibly shared the same experiences. More than 50. And yet, justice was only served today, based on the suit of one woman.

The truth is, there are situations in which woman after woman is assaulted and we as a society let it happen. We sit quietly and allow people with power to pick their prey and manipulate situations, people and circumstances because on some level, we feel we need them to reach our goals or that we don’t have the power to cross them. That must end.

And so here it is: Bill Cosby’s final lesson. And this is one I hope every parent shares with their children or young adults today. There is power in silence and it is a predator’s tool of choice – it’s up to you whether you let them use it. Children and young adults have to be reminded that their dreams are worth achieving, no matter how large or small, but that they cannot let their guards down in hopes of reaching their goal. Along the way, their voice is a powerful weapon that must be their safeguard and they should never, ever be afraid to use it.

Let’s first teach and then constantly remind our loved ones to advocate for themselves and never feel small in the shadow of anyone else’s larger-than-life presence. I don’t care who is across the table, across the room, offering the next chance or the big break, our children are worth every opportunity and should never feel less than the person in front of them. Furthermore, if lines are crossed and victimization occurs, let’s find our strength and use our voices to tell a trusted person, immediately.

I work with a lot of larger-than-life people and am so thankful for that opportunity, and the ones I respect the most seem to know that, without question, accomplishments and wealth are certainly admirable but never grant the standing, right or power to abuse, minimize or steal from anyone. I’m thankful that my parents instilled this belief in me early on – who knew Dr. Huxtable’s legacy would forever be a reminder.

The truth is, I have loved Mrs. Barbara Bush for as long as I can remember. Her example has shaped me. While I learned so much from watching her, here are the top four things she taught me:

Love Him, Stand by Him, but Be Your Own Person

Certainly, Mrs. Bush was her own breed of feminist. She was born in 1925, just five years after women won the right to vote. She met George H.W. Bush as a teen and dropped out of Smith College to wed him. Their love story was recognized by all with a marriage that ultimately lasted 73 beautiful years. She treated him with great respect and made her home wherever his career brought them.

But in her own way, despite that time in history, Mrs. Bush would put on her pearls and was very much her own woman. She was a pioneer in every way – standing up for equal rights and having unique opinions on abortion. Always ready to meet a challenge, she was the second woman ever to take the stage and speak at the national party convention nominating her husband for president. The first was Eleanor Roosevelt in 1940. As First Lady, Mrs. Bush was the one who turned the position from flowers and fashion to finding important platform issues that she would work to solve during her time at the White House.

Many issues were near and dear to her, but her primary focus was promoting family literacy. Mrs. Bush played an integral role in advocating for literacy, from the passage of the National Literacy Act of 1991 to her work with Barbara Bush Literacy Foundation – she never stopped working toward that mission.

Without question, to all who knew her, she was considered strong, sarcastic, genuinely friendly and witty, and she beautifully used those attributes to achieve her personal objectives.

In her words:

“You don’t just luck into things as much as you’d like to think you do. You build step by step, whether it’s friendships or opportunities.”

“If you help a person to read, then their opportunities in life will be endless.”

“Some people give time, some money, some their skills and connections, some literally give their life’s blood. But everyone has something to give.”

“If more people could read, write and comprehend, we could be much closer to solving so many of the other problems our country faces today.”

Love Your Family First and Foremost

As busy as Mrs. Bush was and no matter where her life brought her, if she had an opportunity to speak, she was sharing her love for her family. In her wise ways, she beautifully challenged the notion that strong women must be independent and selfish. In fact, when Mrs. Bush was asked to give the commencement speech for Wellesley class of 1990, 150 students circulated a petition saying Bush was a poor choice for the all-women’s college because she had “gained recognition through the achievements of her husband.” Furthermore, she had dropped out of Smith College after two years to marry the future president, George H.W. Bush.

Mrs. Bush, aware of the strife and thoughts of young women who had different views on life and many less experiences, still gave the speech, of course. She gracefully walked up to the podium and smiled as she looked at the sea of students who attended; she walked off the stage having given what became known as speech #45 in the American Rhetoric’s Top 100 Speeches of the 20th Century. That was Mrs. Bush. In her humble way, she taught all of us the value of sticking together, respecting each other and creating lifelong family bonds that left no room for compromise.

In her words at that Wellesley College Commencement Speech: “At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child or a parent.”

Those Who Speak Truthfully and Honestly Earn the Respect of the Masses

In her unbelievable life, traveling all over the world and meeting so many from different walks of life, all have said that Mrs. Bush spoke truthfully, honestly and with great respect of all. And she was funny. I think of her life, the days she lived while George H.W. Bush was a US Representative in Congress in Texas in the late ’60s. When he was later appointed by President Nixon as a US Ambassador to the United Nations or when he was appointed by President Ford to be head of US Liaison Office in the People’s Republic of China in the 70s. Soon after that, George H.W. Bush and Mrs. Bush were firmly on the road to the White House. Despite where they lived and who they met, Mrs. Bush made her home and established true relationships with diplomats, celebrities, religious leaders, elected officials, media members, law enforcement, advocates, and everyday citizens. She was known to always speak frankly, maybe had to apologize a time or two, but was consistently and deeply respected by all.

In her words:

“Avoid the crowd like the plague. And if they quote you, make damn sure they heard you.”

“Never lose sights of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers and even strangers you meet along the way.”

It May Seem Perfect, But It Never Really Is – and That’s Ok

As incredible as Mrs. Bush’s life was, she had her fair share of hard times. She lost her first daughter, Robin, in 1953, due to leukemia. Robin was only three years old. Mrs. Bush handled this deeply hard time with faith and grace and peace. Additionally, during her long, incredible life, records state there were moments when the former First Lady felt depressed. That said, those accounts speak of a Mrs. Bush who would face that depression by reaching out to others and serving as many as she could. She grabbed all issues head on. We saw the same when her son, Neil, was diagnosed with dyslexia at a young age. Mrs. Bush dove into the issue and worked to offer every option of help and support for not just her son but all children with learning disabilities.

The point was, Mrs. Bush’s life was charmed but still normal. She faced heartache and challenges even though she is the mother and grandmother of the most famous American Family. I believe that in her struggles, she provided a strong example, faith and hope to so many of us who struggled as well. Forever a legacy, forever a light, we all learned from her, whether in the highest highs or lowest lows.

In her words:

On Robin’s death, she said in 2012: “I was combing her hair and holding her hand. I saw that little body, I saw her spirit go. Robin to me is a joy. She’s like an angel to me, and she’s not a sadness or a sorrow.”

“If human beings are perceived as potentials rather than problems, as possessing strengths instead of weaknesses, as unlimited rather than dull and unresponsive, then they thrive and grow to their capabilities.”

“You have to love your children unselfishly. That is hard. But it is the only way.”

I had the chance to meet Mrs. Bush many times but I was fortunate enough to sit with her in her home to film a tribute video for Dave Ward and the Dave Ward Building, Crime Stoppers of Houston. While there, I watched her almost as if time were in slow motion. She was wearing her pearls as she walked around her home and moved pictures of her children and grandchildren. I almost started to cry.

Mrs. Bush, from the beautiful pearls you wore, to the strong yet beautiful hands that touched the life of the President you wed, to the President you raised to all your other incredibly accomplished children and grandchildren who loved their Enforcer so very much to those in the schools that bear your name. From the kiss you and President Bush shared on the Kiss Cams at Houston games, to the commercials you filmed with JJ Watt to greeting international dignitaries with grace and elegance that made us proud to the candor and kindness by which you would take your dogs to play in Houston parks and say hello to all. To the “woman of your time” that you were and to the way you gracefully paved the road for many of us that were proudly learned so much from you, we thank you, we love you and we wish you an eternity of rest and peace in the presence of Robin and the God you believed so beautifully in.

In her words:

“I know there is a great God and I am not worried.”

But in doing this, have we ever stopped to really question what the corporate world of Facebook is doing with the information it’s capturing? More specifically, what information are they capturing exactly?

Shockingly, a lot. So much so that this past week, Facebook creator and CEO, 33-year-old Mark Zuckerberg, was called before a congressional panel in Washington, DC to discuss this very issue as well as the Cambridge Analytical scandal, which included the illegal collection and sale of personal information for over 87 million Facebook users. The breach is another incident in a growing recognition that the world of social media is wonderful yet layered with a growing number of significant privacy concerns. (To learn if your personal information was amongst the information stolen, click here.)

Navigating through Zuckerberg’s “I don’t knows” and the “we made mistakes,” here’s what we learned:

• In 2011, the federal government charged Facebook (which later admitted) for making deceptive privacy claims that were unfair and violated federal law. Specifically, the Federal Trade Commission said while Facebook told users their information would be kept private, they repeatedly made it public and allowed it to be shared.
• Until now, expansive user data is collected and placed into roughly 29,000 categories by which Facebook divides your interests and then sells your information over and over to ultra targeted advertisers.
• Inherent within these categories is information regarding your personal income level, range of things you have liked, groups you’ve joined, places you’ve traveled, purchases you’ve made, hobbies you’ve shared and more.

But here’s what else I learned, Facebook loves it when you take a selfie. Here’s why:

• When you take a selfie, Facebook’s facial recognition features will pick you up as well as where you are, who you are with, and any caption and/or tagged people and places registered to the photo and post.
• Additionally, Facebook records where you took the photo, the kind of phone you used to take the photo, the device ID that is unique to that very phone and what mobile provider you use. WHAT?
• Once you upload your photo (i.e., post it), Facebook will tap into any nearby Wi-Fi spots or cell towers, mapping where you are, essentially, one selfie at a time.
• Through this information, Facebook is tracking where you are as well as anyone else appearing in your picture. Additionally, I’d like to know how long that information is retained by Facebook (or Instagram) after your account has been deleted or suspended?

What You Need to Do Now – Turn off geotagging!

• For an iPhone user, go to SETTINGS < PRIVACY < LOCATION SERVICES < Select “Camera” < Tap on “NEVER”.
• For an Android user, Open the Camera app < Tap on “Settings” < Scroll until you see the option for “Save location” (might be at the top) and disable it.

With all this recording of information and the sharing and selling of it, it’s no wonder that there is growing concern over the use of this social media platform. A recent study has just revealed that Facebook has lost nearly 10 percent of its users with an additional 35 percent choosing to reduce their use of the platform.

It’s one thing to purposefully post a photo, quote, article or more in hopes of sharing with friends or engaging in a universal conversation. It’s quite another thing to have Facebook go behind a post and extract personal information we had no intention of sharing (and then use or sell that information) simply because their technology makes it possible.

I am an avid Facebook user. I use it to share my work and enjoy following the work and photos of so many I know and love. It’s a powerful tool that I appreciate. That said, the privacy concerns both known and unknown are truly concerning. I continue to advise others to be extremely careful when posting from home and to be overly careful when posting anything involving minors. And as much as we are learning, I am reminded of the many “I don’t knows and “we made mistakes” coming from Zuckerberg’s mouth this past week. While he is trying to figure it out, join me in being intentional and careful with every click, like, share and post. The tool’s a great one – let’s use it wisely!

Just look at the last few weeks. Jennifer Hohman, Amy Pierce, the Houston 20, a long list of nonprofits, the incredible John Clark, and many others came together to focus on making significant strides in the end of human trafficking in Houston, in Texas and across our nation. The approach was multi-tiered. On the local level, we worked and are working with Governor Greg Abbott to stiffen laws in the state of Texas. Nationally though, there have been tremendous strides with breaking news every single day:

• IT PASSED! Working quietly and under the radar with U.S. Representative Ann Wagner and other congressional members, new legislation (SESTA/FOSTA) aimed at giving law enforcement officials greater authority to go after websites which allow for sex trafficking thereby limiting their immunity and ultimately shutting down online sex traffickers was proposed and just this week passed by a vote of 97-2! The news left lobbyist and powerful tech companies scratching their heads in disbelief. The reality is, behind the scenes, Houston community members were very much working alongside critical elected officials to get the measure passed and they did so, beautifully. We all thank those members and especially U.S. Representative Ann Wagner for her leadership.
• HISTORIC UPDATE! In response to this sweeping change, just a few days ago, Craigslist removed its “personals”section thereby no longer offering a way for anonymous people to connect for sexual activity and in one step, shut down the online exploitation and promotion of sex trafficking victims. What a huge victory! Visitors of Craigslist personals are now redirected to a statement about the FOSTA Bill.
• And more: Very shortly thereafter, Reddit shut down their personal ads in the wake of the passing of the Online Sex Trafficking Act.

Friends, I share this with you for two reasons. One, this is huge and I want you to be aware of the critical updates taking place weekly. But second, as Donae reminded me in our meeting just a few days ago, great change can be made by wonderful people who have the sheer will and determination to see that change through. This reality is making its way to the younger generation as hundreds of thousands took to DC and other major cities to participate in the March For Our Lives.

As a community and as a country, we are learning that change can come through everyday people who are committed to seeing that change through. We are no longer on the sidelines. The truth is, you can’t stop a swelling community of involved people, especially women, when it comes to the protection of our children. You can’t stop us when it comes to the protection of all children. You can’t stop us when it comes to protection of each other. You can’t stop us when it comes to using our voices and wanting what’s right for our families, for our kids, their education, our animals, for our homes and our futures.

Join our efforts! Working together, we are stronger!