Summer Concerns for the Everyday Parent

I long for the days of summer. Literally. The thought of not having to get three kids up and out in the morning is more liberating than I can articulate. Not to mention getting a break from school nights filled with afterschool activities, homework and early bedtimes. I relish the break from it all and know my children do also. That said, with a relaxed schedule cannot come a relaxed outlook about safety. Summer offers unique security concerns that we hope all parents stop to consider and work to combat. Here are my top 5 and what you can do about them:

Pool Safety and Swimming

If your kids are like mine, they love to swim. We love it too. That said, we have gone over strict rules when it comes to pool safety – namely, no one can be outside and in the pool without an adult present; additionally, we tell our children they are not allowed to play “near” the pool when we are not there. Once in the water? No rough housing, no crazy jumps and no “pretend” drowning (yes, it’s a thing and kids love to play the “help me” game!). You may think our rules are strict, but they are given with great reason.

This week, a viral video of a toddler climbing up pool ladder served as a reminder to all parents about pool safety. According to the CDC, there were approximately 3,536 fatal unintentional drownings in the US between 2005-2014. This averages about 10 deaths per day. About 1 in 5 of those deaths were children 14 and younger. For every 1 death, 5 other children are sent to the ER for nonfatal submersion injuries. Last year in Texas, there were at least 80 fatal drownings. So far this year, there have been 19 fatal drownings in the Lone Star State.

Water Parks

Beyond the swimming pool, I encourage you to think about risks before hitting the water parks. Here are the most common injuries to look out for:

Trips and slips! Not only are fractures possible but where you are near water, a fall into a pool can also lead to drowning.
Excited teens often take dangerous risks! Teens like speed and adventure but combining that with water is not always a good idea. Some experts associate the fact that of the youth deaths associated with drowning, the majority are boys because rough housing was involved at some point. While water parks have strict rules against horseplay, we need to have these talks with our teens before leaving the house.
Small children can drown in as little as two inches of water and it can happen quickly. Beyond their lack of stability while standing on their own, they can be knocked over easily by others. Add a kiddie pool or water park feature and it’s a recipe for disaster. Parents must be watching their toddlers with persistent vigilance and keeping them in the toddler areas of the park always.

Hot Cars

It’s horrible but Texas ranks number 1 for child hot car deaths in the USA. From 1990 to 2017, there were 120 child vehicular heatstroke fatalities in Texas involving children ages 14 and under. How do we stop this?

Never leave a child unattended inside a car, even for a moment.
Parents, talk to your child about the dangers of being in a car during the summer months – remind them, it’s not a place to play hide-and-seek and it’s never safe to get into a car by yourself and close the doors.
For parents on the go with a change in schedule – leave your purse or phone or wallet – or even a shoe! – next to the child in the backseat. This will force you to look back there before you exit the car.

Online Gaming Breaches

Keep in mind that hackers are hoping your children will put out their personal information as they download video games. Just this past week, news broke that 800,000 players of the popular game Fortnite Battle Royale had their email accounts and other information compromised by hackers.

Parents, talk kids through the steps required to sign up for a video game and explain what information is okay to share and what isn’t. Once you’ve entered your name, address, credit card and email, you truly are in a vulnerable position. Change your passwords often, don’t list personal information like your mother’s maiden name, use one credit card for gaming or any online purchases, don’t click on suspicious sites or wait to be a victim of fraud to care about being safe online.

Outdoor Activities and Accidents

Even with the heat, kids want to be outside, which is great! Let’s keep in mind the following safety concerns:

Playgrounds – emergency departments see more than 20,000 children ages 14 and younger for playground-related traumatic brain injury each year. Parents, let your kids play and have fun but be sure to watch them and go over safety rules before they play. Inspect equipment before they jump on – both for loose parts or sharp edges (and in my case, for bugs…!).
Biking – Bicyclists must take extra precautions when they ride. Whether on a road, sidewalk or off the beaten path, injuries can happen anywhere. In 2015, bicycles were associated with more injuries than skateboards, trampolines, swimming pools and playground equipment combined! According to Injury Facts 2017, 488,123 people were treated in emergency rooms in 2015 after being injured riding a bicycle. Sadly, about 1,100 deaths resulted from cyclists colliding with motor vehicles.
Walking – It’s one of my favorite things to do and my kids love it also. That said, “distracted walking” is a serious issue! Whether crossing a street or navigating a bumpy sidewalk, if you are not paying attention, you’re at risk for personal injury or something far worse. Cell phones down and heads up! According to a Governors Highway Safety Association report, there were nearly 6,000 pedestrian fatalities in 2017. Let’s pay attention, friends!

Ask me what my kids are doing this summer and I’ll tell you they’re playing, going to water parks, swimming, riding bikes and having a wonderful time – but they have been tasked with doing it all safely. We can’t shield them from all pain and injury but we can certainly take conscious steps to try. I hope you’ll read this and have important, age-appropriate conversations with the kids in your home and in your life and encourage your friends and colleagues to do the same. In the meantime, I’m wishing you and yours a safe, happy and healthy summer!

Suicide – Attacking the Best of Us

The numbers are sobering. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34 and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between ages 35 and 54. Those tragic numbers are sadly increasing by double digit percentages across all age groups according to NIMH.

Professionals in the field are calling suicide a mental health epidemic. The suicide of Kate Spade (55) this last week followed by Anthony Bourdain (61) (news breaking as I write this) shocked many. Spade and Bourdain represented two incredible lives, lives filled with everything we as a society have defined as the nuts and bolts of “happiness” – fame, family, luxury and popularity.

But in looking at other celebrities such as famed comedian Robin Williams, iconic fashion designer Alexander McQueen, internationally acclaimed DJ Avicii, we realize the claws and stronghold of suicidal ideation coupled with the internal and persistent nagging of the suicidal brain, can ultimately take down anyone, regardless of fame, race, gender or creed. It’s a sobering look at the pervasiveness of this disease. And it’s also made me think that it’s time we jump in the ring and fight with and for those who ultimately cannot fight solely for themselves. We must.

Willing to fight with me? Here’s what you need to know now.

Suicide is a result of a mental health disease with no singular leading factor. Psychologists talk about the convergence of stress or triggers with underlying health issues which result in unrealistic and overwhelming thoughts of hopelessness and despair.

Risk factors include:

Anxiety disorders
Depression
Substance abuse
Mental health issues like bipolar disease or schizophrenia
Personality traits of aggression, mood changes and poor relationships
Conduct disorders
Serious physical health including chronic diseases
Traumatic brain injury

Suicide Red Flags:

Changes in behavior
Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself
Researching ways in which people die, taking an interest in the death of others, especially those who commit suicide
Feeling hopeless, having no purpose, not seeing the joy in accomplishments of life
Talk of being a burden, feeling trapped or feeling persistent sadness or defeat or dissatisfaction with life or outcomes
Use or increased use of alcohol or drugs
Changes in behavior, sleeping too much or too little
Withdrawing
Regretting past decisions, being unable to cope with previous “bad” decisions, feeling deep regret
A generally wide range of mood wings

Parents, let’s add to this conversation that today, kids who have had no previous mental health issues might feel the need to end their lives as a result of systemic bullying, cyberbullying, online posts that they might regret, etc. We must be aware that these are becoming real issues for our children and true causes of suicide.

What you must do:

TALK. While suicide ideation persistently tells its victim to “take action,” the stigma and awkwardness of the conversation might persistently tell others to “stay quiet”. The result is a net gain for suicide.

We must ask pointed questions and get involved, especially where you see changes in behavior, end of life talking, selling of things, a desire for final conversations… ASK:

Are you having thoughts of suicide?
Are you feeling hopeless? Do you regret a recent outcome of something? Do you feel there’s no purpose to your life or you cannot overcome today’s current challenges? Do you feel like a burden to others? Do you hate yourself?
Do you have a plan?
Are you willing to follow through with your plan?

Resources:

While you are talking, get help. Take action. Don’t leave a potential suicide victim alone. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number at 1-800-273-8255. Locally, there are a long list of numbers. Here are a list of hotline numbers covering Harris County and offering a wide range of help.

Suicide ideation is a persistent attacker that doesn’t discriminate. Add its potent pushes to a culture where mental health still carries a negative stigma yet is on the rise, where we are divided politically, living both online yet in isolation, where youth are hyper-sexualized and violence pours out of all we do and see, and where Netflix pushes out suicide series like 13 Reasons Why (please note, season 2 was just released and parents, we do not recommend teens watch this alone)… I could go on and on… you can see there’s reason for concern.

While I don’t have an answer or solution and a way to fight back on the big picture issues, I can choose to be persistent and pervasive for good. Stepping in wherever we see issues, offering a hand to all those who need it and not stopping. Being in the schools, in the community, in our neighborhoods, in our offices, on our teams, in public places and more focused on noticing warning signs and be willing to do something whenever we see something.

This fall, Crime Stoppers of Houston will be rolling out an entire new curriculum focused on mental health, the red flags and warning signs of danger and suicide and what we can do as a result. Partnering with the non-profit group Mental Health Foundation of West Michigan and specifically their be NICE program, we are hoping to engage an army of others who are willing to get involved and turn inaction into action.

As a nation we grieve but we also come together to heal and to fight. I’m ready for that challenge. Join us.

Elder Abuse Fraud

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Elder abuse comes in many different forms. One form of elder abuse is financial fraud. It may be disturbing to discover how vulnerable an older friend or loved one can be to old-fashioned con games that arrive over the internet, through the mail or by phone. It’s important for family members and friends to understand why older adults are at risk and what steps can be taken to minimize the chances of their elders becoming fraud victims.

Seniors may be taken in by certain cons because they are too trusting or don’t want to seem rude. Some warning signs include constant phone calls, piles of promotional materials and letters that proclaim they are a “guaranteed winner!”, receipts from wire transfer services and overnight shipments, and acting distressed or reluctant to talk. A few scams that target seniors are: Sweepstakes and Foreign Lottery Scams, Psychics Scams, Telemarketing Scams, Investment Scams and Charity Scams.

In order to protect family or friends, there are several steps that can be taken. Find family members, neighbors, doctors, and other friends to join your effort to stop the scams. Reduce telemarketing and robocalls. Take advantage of free call-blocking services from the phone company, or purchase a call-blocking device. Volunteer to help your older family member balance their checkbook, and question large withdrawals, payments to wire-transfer services or checks made out to cash. Monitor their financial accounts. AARP and the American Bankers Association recommend that older adults allow view-only access to their accounts so a trusted friend or family member can see – but not access – their funds.

Most people don’t have access to an older parent or friend’s accounts until their loved one becomes ill or incapacitated. By waiting until then, friends and family might discover too late the tragic extent to which a senior has been victimized. Active intervention as soon as fraud is discovered is critical. Visit our website www.DeliveringTrust.com for tips on how to create a fraud safety net for your loved ones.

Be the Change You Want to See to Help Keep Our Schools Safe

As the community struggles to deal with the tragedy of last week’s Santa Fe High School shooting and, on Friday, the shooting at Noblesville West Middle School in Indiana, one big, trying question remains on most of our minds: “What now?” If you are a parent like me, still trying to process it all, let me tell you that it has not been easy. What unfolded in Santa Fe has shaken us to our core. And the shooting in Indiana marked the 23^rd school shooting of 2018. The loss of life and trauma is unbearable, and the uncertainty of “what now” is terrifying.

So “what now”? Here’s what I’m proposing: Be the change you want to see to help keep our schools safe.

First and foremost, we must continue to rally around those affected by recent tragedies. We must continue to find ways to work together and NOT against each other. Equally as important, we must accept that times have changed, threats to our kids do exist and we must act to “be the change” that thinks about school safety at all times.

Here are ways you can help:

Be prepared at all times.

Know your school’s policy in the case of an active shooter (practice drills, lock-downs, what law enforcement agencies will respond, armed teachers, reunification, etc.)
Establish an emergency communication plan that your child can use once it has been declared to do so by your child’s school. This might include:

Stay calm and always comply with law enforcement authorities and school staff.
Call or text mom, dad or parental guardian, once it is safe to do so.
Be patient until the school is able to reunite you with your family.

Talk to your child – this is so important! You will never, ever regret having that one conversation that has saved your child’s life or mitigated harm that could have come their way. Here are some helpful conversations starters:

How safe do you feel at school?
Have you ever seen a person make an online threat to a school? What about hearing that someone has brought a weapon to school?
Do you feel comfortable speaking to someone about this? Explain that they can report threats/dangers/suspicious activity anonymously through the Crime Stoppers tip line at 713-222-TIPS OR by downloading the Crime Stoppers app called Crime Stoppers of Houston.

DNA Testing – What to Consider

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Raise your hand if you’ve done one of those DNA tests…! It’s been the latest craze as we all want to know exactly where we’re really from. While my hubby and I haven’t taken one yet, we do have two kits waiting for us to swab, send and return with informational DNA clarity.

Just this week, we found out that police used genetic database GEDMatch to track the Golden State Killer suspect. Investigators tracked him down based on genetic information provided by one of his relatives.

Truth is, genome testing is interesting with companies like Ancestry and 23andMe offering the general population a chance to “scientifically” determine one’s genetic makeup and family history and predisposition to diseases. It’s fascinating and friends who have taken it have glowingly shared remarkable findings. “This whole time, I thought I was Irish, turns out, I’m 53 percent Sicilian!”

But like with anything, we need to stop and consider the ramifications of what we’re providing these companies. It’s not just a swab, it’s our actual DNA. And with that, privacy experts are ringing an alarming bell asking questions like What information is extracted exactly? Where is it kept? And for how long? How is it kept and what can these companies do with it afterwards? These questions should give us all pause.

Here’s what you need to know:

Health or Life Insurance Denials in the Future? If you have had DNA testing and determined you have a preexisting condition or uncovered some type of implications regarding your health and you are asked about that, you are legally obligated to share what you know. Failing to do so would be akin to making false claims on a contract and legally detrimental. It follows then that information collected and known to you could later be used to deny you or your family access to health and life insurance.
Legal Issues? There are anti-discrimination laws currently in place that limit what your health insurer or employer can learn about your DNA. The caveat is that those laws don’t apply to life insurance, disability or long-term care insurance companies.
Privacy Issues? Before you take any of the various DNA tests, read and understand the privacy policies. That said, remember that companies have the right to change their policies at any time. While you technically have to “agree” to any changes, it is questionable what your options are should you not agree to the changes.
Monetizing your specimen? For now, these companies are making a great deal of money off of people submitting samples to gain DNA information. That said, at the first sign of those sales plateauing, companies will seek additional revenue streams. With access to so much information, one has to wonder if they could or rather, would, monetize either the actual specimens or the actual genetic information? Beyond that, if the company goes bankrupt or is sold, its dispersed assets could include your genetic information.
Crime Scenes: Law enforcement has been using DNA at crime scenes for years now. But do they have access to our DNA that was collected in a non-criminal manner, for legal issues? A recent 23andMe “transparency report” revealed that law enforcement made five requests to the company for an “individual’s genetic information.” They declined the request. The 2017 Ancestry “transparency report” revealed that they did, in fact, turn over information to law enforcement in 8 out of 9 requests. And it’s not just your DNA that might be of interest. In 2005, police confirmed the BTK killer was their suspect by subpoenaing his daughter’s DNAfrom a local hospital.

So now what? It’s important to realize that not only is the information you are sharing and finding out critical to your future but it also opens the door on information pertaining to you, your siblings, your parents, your cousins and your children. Until law makers have fully caught up to the science, are you okay with sharing this level of information or simply “having it out there”? Yes, these companies claim that protecting your privacy is their highest priority but so do credit card merchants and they have been guilty of selling information or being subject to a data breach more times than I can recall.

With all this in mind, I’m thinking our two DNA testing kits might just stay in those boxes for a little while longer.

Solved Crime

Summer Concerns for the Everyday Parent

Suicide – Attacking the Best of Us

Elder Abuse Fraud

Be the Change You Want to See to Help Keep Our Schools Safe

DNA Testing – What to Consider