Looting. Following any major storm, looting becomes a major concern. We want businesses and citizens to know that if your business or home has experienced this type of criminal activity, please immediately report the incident to law enforcement. Be prepared to give all the details and any photos or videos you may have collected. Get a case number. Once you have a case number, call Crime Stoppers of Houston at 713-817-5678 and we will work on it from there. We must all work together to put an end to this type of activity and catch these perpetrators immediately. Let’s recognize that our Harris County District Attorney, Kim Ogg, has issued a strong statement against this type of activity and shared that punishments will be increased.

Fake Social Media Posts. Unfortunately, whether as a hoax or for political purposes, there have been fake social media posts circulating that involve images of looters. Please be aware that our partners at the Department of Public Safety are investigating each and every one of these posts. The creators of these posts will face consequences.

Be Smart When Posting. During this catastrophic time, many are using social media as a main format of communication with those near and far. We understand this but we are asking friends to use caution when posting photos of their homes or notes that they are evacuating. Many are indicating what neighborhoods they live in when posting. Please keep in mind that it takes only one ill-willed person to see a post like that and target your home – even in this time of great despair.

Domestic Violence / Child Abuse / Elderly Abuse / Animal Abuse. Sadly, during these times of high-stress and uncertainty, violence against the family and animals tends to increase. Be on the lookout for any signs of child or animal abuse and report it immediately. Domestic Violence victims as always are urged to get out if it’s safe to do so. Emergency calls can be made to 911; all other calls can be made to Crime Stoppers of Houston (713-222-TIPS / 8477), CPS or Adult Protective Services at (1-800-252-5400 or https://www.txabusehotline.org), the Humane Society (713-433-6421), and the Houston Area Woman’s Center (713) 528-2121).

Scams. Be wary of anyone going to your home to try and sell you any type of insurance. If you are need of temporary housing, be wary of “rental listing” that require you to send money via wire transfer before ever seeing the property. These listings could be fake. Similarly, be careful of repair services in the aftermath of the storm. Don’t hire a complete stranger, ask for license and proof of insurance. Get everything in writing before the work begins. Make a payment schedule based on work performed. And while there are many other potential scams, be wary of crooks posing as governmental agents who calls and ask you for personal information. You could become a victim of ID Theft.

Giving to Charity. As a non-profit, it is wonderful to see so many giving to charitable organizations doing wonderful work at this time. Please remember to:

• Give to known organizations
• Give directly to the organization itself, there is no need to use a third-party
• Investigate the charity first – the FTC has posted useful information with links to charity watchdog groups called Wise Giving in the Wake of Hurricane Harvey.

Inventory Your Home. If you haven’t already done so, inventory the valuable items in your home whether in an effort to protect yourself from theft or in preparation for any additional flooding. Make sure your vital documents are secured (either with you, in a safe or saved in a safe-deposit box).

For nearly 40 years we have made your safety our business. Harvey has not stopped that. We are here to serve everyone from our incredible law enforcement partners to every man, woman, child and animal calling the Greater Houston Metropolitan area, home. We are thankful to serve.

Take care of yourself, each other, your homes, your neighbors’ homes, your pets and our community. We are #HoustonProud and #HoustonStrong.

With that comes a great responsibility especially during different seasons of the year. This time of year – back to school – is one of those times. Everyone is so excited (as we should be) . . . kids will see their friends, parents will go back to a routine, we are shopping and running around, getting ready for a new beginning. It really is a wonderful time.

But inherent in this time are some serious and important safety messages. The reality is we live in a new world, one we must embrace with eyes wide open. Crime Stoppers is focused on holding parents’ hands and giving students the tips, tricks and tools to deal with all of it, safely.

So, as we all plan for the entire year, I’m going to stop and focus on the next few days and the risks associated with three things many of us do as our kids go back to school. My goal isn’t to get us to stop doing these things, it’s to get us to do them wisely. Let’s take a look.

To Monogram or Not to Monogram.

Monogramming everything was not a “thing” in the ’70s and ’80s. In today’s world, kids have their shirts, backpacks, hair bows, sneakers, Yeti cups, keychains and more personalized. And it’s cute! That said, it opens the door for strangers to start conversations with our kids.

Is it okay to monogram? Yes! But think it through.

If possible, stick to initials only.

If using a full name or nickname, simply talk to your children: “Remember, your name is literally written here in plain sight. If a stranger calls you by your name or nickname, it means nothing, other than the fact that s/he read it on your backpack.” This requires that you’re talking to a child old enough to understand the point you’re making, of course. And guess what, when talked about without emotion or fear, it becomes a simple reminder that your kids appreciate.

That Inevitable Back-to-School Social Media Post.

Over the next few weeks, we’ll be taking and seeing those incredibly sweet social media posts: Hi everyone! Billy is ready to conquer 3rd grade! Parents are so proud and love him so much! We love sharing these photos and our close friends and family love seeing them. Just remember other people search social media platforms specifically to gain information on children.

Is it okay to post? Yes! But think it through. This one picture unlocks the door to your child’s world and shares a great deal of information you may not have thought about:

• Your child’s image. Now we all know exactly what s/he looks like.
• Your child’s full name. You gave us the first name and we’ll assume with 90 percent accuracy that the last name is identical to yours.
• Your child’s school. The school uniform and/or colors say it all. If it’s a public school and I know your general area, it won’t take long for someone to figure out which school.
• Your child’s age and grade. And think about this, how many 3rd grade classes are there in your school? Probably not too many to have to sift through.
• Your child’s interests. Backpacks, lunch boxes and folders with characters and/or store names create specific identifiers that share your child’s interests.

We savvy parents are active online, and it’s great! The reality is, the social networks we have built contain many people we do not know well or even at all. But simple changes can make a big difference. Try posting the photo of your child not in uniform or leaving off first names or grade. It’s not about living in fear, it’s about not giving away all the information at once. Being careful and cautious, especially when it comes to our kids, is always worth it.

Your Car Speaks Volumes.

We live in a city where going from point A to B requires a vehicle and usually a lot of traffic. Some of us are in our cars more than we are in our homes . . . they are a part of our image and a way to share more information about our families. Every day, I find myself stuck behind a driver who has used an array of bumper stickers to tell me everything there is to know about their child’s accomplishments.

Is it ok to use these types of bumper stickers? Yes! But think it through.

• Caricature stickers that show a mom, dad, two kids (boys, girls or boy and girl) with a dog (there are many different variations) tell people how many kids you have and their gender.
• The school-related and/or interest-related bumper stickers. My daughter is a star cheerleader for INSERT NAME cheer team or My student is an honor roll student at INSERT NAME Middle School or High School. The list of these types of stickers is endless. Furthermore, they provide a wealth of information about your child including gender, relative age, school location and areas of interest, which might be of interest to the wrong person as you cruise all over town.
• And let’s not forget, your car itself gives an idea of your economic status.

Let’s face it, as parents, we could not be prouder of our kids. We do a lot to build them up and make them who they are and, as a result, we want to highlight and share their milestones and achievements. I get it, I really get it, and I agree it’s wonderful to do. That said, let’s just do it all with an added layer of thinking . . . after all, have you ever met a parent that regretted investing time and energy in the safety of their children? Neither have I.

We had a lovely day. But during our “phone free” time together, I could hear and feel the “breaking alerts” beeping for my attention in my purse. I finally stopped to see the news . . . the horrific details slowly lingering over me, I found the headlines tragic and tragically sad: Vehicle plows into a group of counter-protesters at a white nationalist rally in Virginia; injuries unknown…

Vehicle plows? White nationalist rally? In Virginia?! Seriously? In the United States of America?

The irony hit me hard. While I was teaching my daughter that we live in the greatest country on earth, a country of limitless possibilities and about the duty we inherently have to roll up our sleeves and pour our hearts back into our community, with a love for all no matter race, color or creed — a protest based on filth and hatred was taking place in Virginia where those gathering were not pushing a positive agenda in a peaceful manner but gathered to spew hatred and destruction.

According to Oren Segal, who directs the Anti-Defamation League’s Center on Extremism, “multiple white power groups had gathered including members of neo-Nazi organizations, racist skinheads groups and KKK factions” for a “Unite the Right” White Supremacy rally. We now know that additionally present were the white nationalist organizations Vanguard America and Identity Evropa, the Southern Nationalist League of the South, the National Socialist Movement, the Traditionalist Workers Party and the Fraternal Order of Alt Knights. Their goal was to come together to unify and protect “white peoples’ voice” among other things.

As if that alone isn’t enough, the sad news remained that as counter protestors gathered and tensions rose, a cowardly Ohio man, James Alex Fields, Jr. (20) viciously plowed his car into a group individuals killing a 32-year-old woman and leaving 19 others injured. A 22-year-old UVA student told the AP that “several hundred counter-protesters were marching when suddenly there was just this tire screeching sound. A silver Dodge Challenger smashed into another car, then backed up, barreling through a ‘sea of people.'”

Why? How? The thought of it all still shakes me. What are we as a nation coming to and what on earth do we say to our children? Especially those old enough to see the headlines?

We are Americans

That one word means a great deal. We are Americans. We are a country of immigrants, a melting pot of humanity living in a country that thrives based on our ability to co-exist. We welcome all people from all walks of life.

First Amendment Reminder

The First Amendment protects freedom of speech but it does not protect hate speech. Additionally, it allows for the right to “peacefully assemble” or “protest” but never to gather and terrorize and destroy. Note that in some cases, a permit may be required to gather and share information.

A New Kind of Power

I’ve taken the last few hours to really think about what today’s event means for me and my life. What it means for my children and their lives. And I keep coming back to the word “power” and how I will actively choose to see it and define it for my children.

What is power? Are these white supremacists powerful? Absolutely not. Is Fields powerful? Certainly not.

There is no power in violence and terror.
There is no power in hatred.
There is no power in destruction.
There is no power in death.
There is no power in fear.

True power comes from peaceful discussion and peaceful discord.
True power comes from loving all others.
True power comes from building bridges, together.
True power comes from investing in each other and cultivating life.
True power comes from faith.

True power comes from people like my eldest child who sees all others as “friends” and every opportunity as a blessing. She uses her voice to make her way but builds others up as she goes. She gains nothing in others sadness or destruction.  And here is the greatest truth . . . in addition to the millions of adults across our great country who renounce vile hatred, my daughter is just one of hundreds of thousands of other children who, likewise, thrive on American unity. In this world of uncertainty and chaos, we will always be the louder, stronger and more powerful group. Period.

Beyond the Band-Aids, I never thought to ask – did her hands hurt? What about her arms, back, neck or feet? To me, my loud Mediterranean mother was the most powerful person I knew. She was short for sure but mighty in all her ways. I never thought of her as being sore or even tired. She was just always Mom; ready to help with whatever was needed.

Over the last week, I have been thinking quite a bit about those conversations which took place over 30 years ago. I’m now a mother with a few Band-Aids on my own hands. With three little kids and a great deal of activity, I think of my mom every time I put one on. It is amazing how such a small and meaningless activity {putting on a Band-Aid} can make you think of how quickly time passes.

But as I write this, I’m thinking about more than the passing of time. I’m thinking about what it all means, right now, in this moment.

It’s currently about 12:45 a.m. and I’m staring at my mother, now in her early 70s, as she sleeps just a stone’s throw away from me. She has been visiting from Boston for some time. Set to leave last week, she sadly fell down the stairs at my house and suffered three different fractures in three different parts of her body. Her trip back to Boston placed on hold, she is now here recovering and I’m caring for her when I’m not at the office. It’s amazing to think about. Her hands no longer covered in Band-Aids but worn out just the same, I grab hold of them in an effort to lift her or set her down. She sleeps peacefully but is never really well rested. It is becoming clearer and clearer that it’s now my time to care for her. And I’m thankful for it.

So here I am like many of you, in a part of life I’m calling mom in the middle. I have my own young family to think of – a busy house with many growing and changing needs. But I’m fortunate enough to have my parents too and with that, the ever-changing requirements that come with watching them age. Moms in the middle think of navigating children through school, houses through changing schedules, careers with shifting paths while juggling the decisions that come with parents walking through later stages in life.

It is complex. It is emotional. It is tiring. But it is all so wonderfully a part of life.

Through it all, I hope you join me in remembering to:

Be thankful. I am immensely thankful that my kids have these times with their grandparents and that my parents have this time with me and my children. But to successfully manage this:

Forgive yourself. Remember, you cannot do it all. And that’s okay. Allow yourself to conquer what you can and not lose heart over what you can’t. There’s no way to answer every question, take every call, fill every need and be everyone’s “one stop shop.” Let this sink in and let it flow out. It’s okay.

Stop and take care of you. Between the phone calls, forms to fill out, plans to make, work to be done, housework and errands that never ends – you’ve got to stop and take a moment for YOU. Whether it’s sleeping at an odd moment or running to get a coffee on your own for 30 minutes, you know what will recharge you. Take time to do whatever it is so you can keep going.

Seek help when you need it. Whether you are thinking through school activities for your kids or physical therapy for your parents, you will not have all the answers all the time. There are many who can help and are there to help. Accept that help and keep going.

Think with your mind and your heart. I’m tired of people thinking you need to separate the two. Decisions can be conquered with thoughtfulness and compassion. You can pull from both wells and it’s the right thing to do so.

Don’t be afraid. There isn’t any one decision that will cause everything to come crashing down. If you give your child a gadget slightly before they are ready, it’s okay. If you need a little extra time to decide on a treatment for a parent, it’s okay. Let’s move forward in confidence and not in fear.

Remember you have an audience. I can’t tell you how many times I have shared lessons with my kids over the past few days alone. They are watching me care for my parents. And through it all, we have discussed family, the need to care for one another and the lengths we will go to support each other. I have tried to highlight the fabric of our family and hopefully planted a legacy of compassion.

Life has a beautiful way of coming full circle. And while I am certain that each of our stories vary, we can come together over common themes. Moms in the middle see this over and over again. What a powerful group we are; these tired hands are a proud member.

But even as I spoke, one particular app was being highlighted and creating an international uproar. The app in question? House Party {with a space}. In a release by the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE), the request is clear. Distributors are being called to pull it and parents are being called to delete it from teens’ phones. Immediately.

If you are like most parents, you are still thinking “House Party, HouseParty? What on earth are these and how do I know if my kids use them?” With new apps and games being released daily, it’s impossible to keep up. Not to mention that even I got confused between the social media video chatting platform HouseParty and the online sex gaming app House {space} Party. Here’s what you need to know about both and why across the nation, the game House Party is being deleted and pulled.

According to iTunes, Houseparty is described this way:

It’s time to take the group chat to the next level with group video chat. Trying to FaceTime with a group? Houseparty is the group video chat app that you’vebeen missing in your life. We empower people to have more frequent conversations with the people they care about most, meet new friends, and have fun together – wherever they are. Up your group video chat game and Houseparty today.

Parents, take note:

The game is rated 12+ for Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content and Nudity/Suggestive Themes. It makes you think though – developers feel that it’s okay for 12-year-olds (pre-teens) to be around “mild sexual content and nudity/suggestive themes?”

How Houseparty Works:

The average user goes onto Houseparty via live, real-time video streaming. They are paired with six people – friends or complete strangers – and the video chatting begins. With live, real-time video streaming, you never know what will come up and if you notice in the photo from iTunes, one of the users is in a bathtub. It doesn’t take much to imagine where this could go in the hands of immature youth or predators. While the app has strict conduct guidelines, the reality is a 12-year-old girl in Texas could be video-chatting with a group of strangers across the globe. It’s something to think about.

Parents, Take Note:

The DailyMail issued a warning about Houseparty back in April 2017 with the following headline: Mothers’ warning after two schoolgirls use child-friendly Houseparty chat app and see a pervert EXPOSE HIMSELF and URINATE on camera.  (To read more, click here; PLEASE NOTE, this link contains graphic images from the actual app.)

How House {space} Party Works:

And here’s the bigger issue. House {space} Party is an online game made possible through Steam, an online gaming database that serves about 35 million children. The game is so bad, the platform now has people calling it out for being “pornographic” and filled with scenes of “rape” and “sexually coercive scenes” through explicit gaming images. According to NCOSE:

The House Party ‘hook up’ game included disturbing features that allow users to increase their odds of ‘having sex’ with women through manipulation and coercion. Throughout the game, sex is achieved via using nude pictures as blackmail, increasing women’s alcohol consumption, impersonating their friends through text, and jamming cell phone reception to isolate a woman in a room away from other party goers. The sexual encounters are blatant animated pornography, featuring genitalia, ejaculation, and more. (For proof and screenshots click here.)

In response, Steam has temporarily removed House Party until the game developer can apply in-game “mild censors to pixilate genitals and breasts.”

Parents, Take Note:

When asked, House Party developers defended the game, calling it a “parody” and a “joke” and dismissed concerns about the game being harmful and misogynistic.

Thanks but no thanks House Party.

Now What?

It’s up to us, parents:

• We must be on top of the technology.
• Regularly examine our children’s phones.
• Talk, talk, and talk about online safety and boundaries.
• Remind teens that as you post something, someone else can be taking screen shots and forever saving your posts.
• Parents did you know? You can go onto your or child’s phone settings and select “battery” (give it a moment to load) to see all the apps your children are on and how much time they spend on them.

It seems overwhelming to stay on top of, but it’s not. We’re in this together and we’ll do whatever we can to keep them safe together